Question:

How to stop special treatment?

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This is getting anoying. My instructors treat me differently from the rest of the class, and other people are noticing. For exampple if i arrive late (which I try not to do) they tell me to come in but if it was one of the others they would have to wait till the activity is over and do pushups. I am the oldest and the highest ranking but not by much. I am also not used to some of the ettiquite. If the other students don't bow to blackbelts they get an earful about respect but with me its 10 minutes later d**n I forgot to bow no correction. Also with swearing if i say d**n (which I only do when I hurt myself) they just ignore it but if another student wheeew watch out. The other strudents are starting to turn on me and are making it less of a fun atmosphere to train. How exactly do I stop this without putting blame on the instructors/ sounding like a whiny brat?

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4 ANSWERS


  1. Speak with the instructors before or after class, and just explain what you said here, they might not even be aware that they're treating you different.

    Good Luck.


  2. Perhaps he is treating you differently because you are the senior student and believes that your time and dedication allows you some extra leeway.

    Or, and this may be more likely, perhaps he is treating you differently because you are the senior student and wants you to discover the things that you are seeing in yourself, so that you can correct them yourself, therefore acting as an example to others in your class. This could be a sign that he is impressed in the maturity that you have exhibited in class and wants to see if you can begin to notice your own failings and correct them. There is no one to blame, it is a growth and learning experience, and how you handle it will tell your instructors a lot about you.

    It is important for everyone of us to see ourselves as others see us and monitor our own behavior, as well as our martial arts techniques. So, if you notice you forgot to bow, go back and apologize that you forgot and bow as you should have. If you arrive late, do the push-ups on yor own, and then wait for the instructor to acknowledge you so that you can join the class. If you swear, apologize to the instructor or your partner and try to not swear again that week. The same people who are noticing that you seem to be receiving different treatment will also notice how you handle these situations, noting that you are taking corrective action yourself, not waiting nor needing someone else to tell you that you were out of line. I think you will quickly see these other people talking very differently about yor treatment, and will start asking why others don't show the same maturity and self control that you do.

  3. Yeah, talk to your instructor and just tell them that it bothers you, they probably don't know they're doing it and will stop once you talk to them.

    Good luck

  4. speak to your instructor. and is it just you or other females too

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