How to talk to a "goofy" husband?

Question

I love my husband very much, he's absolutely hilarious! But when he does something that hurts me or if I'm upset about anything at all, I can't get through to him. He's so goofy that he just doesn't take a whole lot seriously, unless of course if it's something that upsets him. I've tried talking to him about not being able to talk to him, his mom even gets upset when he acts like this. Any suggestions? Please don't tell me he's a jerk or anything, he's not. He loves me, it's just hard for him to listen.

Answer 1

I truly do not know how to answer your question, but I did want to say that your situation reminded me of a movie that Robin Williams starred as the father of two children, Sally field starred as the mother. He played the role of a husband who was fun and always jokeing. His children loved him, but his wife (Sally Field) found it difficult to cope with him and viewed his behaviour as childish. I wish I could remember the name of the movie. It was a comedy but in true life I can understand how sad it is to be married to someone who deals with situations by jokeing. Maybe you can remember that movie? Anyway, I just thought it so similar to your situation. All I can say is that your husband needs to learn how to reacte to serious situations and to stop avoiding them by jokeing. He sounds to be a nice guy who learned that jokeing is the way to handle things. Gonna take alot to change his point of views. Maybe counselling would help. Good luck to you! Now I remember! The name of that movie was "Mrs. Beasley".

Answer 2

As Christine wrote, if I may paraphrase, people sometimes use humor to deflect issues they aren't comfortable dealing with.  About 30 years ago, someone I was seeing pointed it out when I did this, and I just stopped it.  I wasn't aware of it until someone pointed it out.  It might be enough to just tell him that it bothers you that you're trying to talk about something important to you, and he won't discuss it seriously, this hurts your feelings, and could he please stop joking.  

Answer 3

I'll be honest with you. I know a guy like this at work. he is the funniest guy I know. BUT I have often thought if I could be married to someone like that if a problem ever arose. Also my sister was married to a guy like that. But he was more child like. Just goofy little kids things he'd do. HE was annoying. But all you can do is keep talking to him and let him know how you feel and how serious you are about the matter. What else is there to do. good luck

Answer 4

leave him alone

Answer 5

do role reversal on him next time he gets upset about something. maybe he will get the message. good luck.

Answer 6

Just let him read this question.

Answer 7

Well, of course he's not a jerk.  However, he is not being sensitive to your needs regarding something that upsets you.  It's very hard to change "core personalities" in people.  I guess you need to keep impressing upon him how important it is for him to listen to you, and be compassionate and objective at the same time.  Perhaps he'll "get it" soon... don't give up !!!

Answer 8

He needs therapy.

His "goofiness" is how he copes with any type of negativity or trauma.

Probably started as a child when he had problems growing up.

Maybe if you bring this to his attention EVERY time he acts up, you can train him to get real.  

And if it makes you feel any better, MOST men don't listen.  His not dealing with the "big boy world" is probably even more frustrating.  It would wear on me eventually too.

Answer 9

You just simply talk to him about what bethers you

Answer 10

some people deal with stressful situations by cracking jokes.