How to talk to another parent/guardian about their children?

Question

My daughter is 5. We live on a street that is 1/2 mile long and there are 2 girls (twins) her age that live at the other end. Their grandfather is their guardian. I feel they need pretty constant supervision. I told these girls during the winter that once it was nice out they could play with my daughter outside at our house some time. Well now it is nice out, they are here everyday without asking or being invited, and with no parent or guardian coming to talk to me about it. I do not allow my children to play out front of our home without me being outside with them. The grandfather lets them ride bikes/scooters down to our home alone, we cannot see each others houses. I am trying to find a way to say nicely that this is not a babysitting service and they are not allowed to play inside my house. They do not listen to me, yesterday when they were here I said they had to stay in the backyard if they wanted to play here and they would not. Please help tell him nicely!

Answer 1

I understand perfectly that you feel responsible when they are at your house. This is simply one of those things you have to be straightforward about and tell him bluntly that this is not the 1950s anymore and there are crazy people in this world who would harm those little girls and he needs to watch them closer.  As for the children, tell them to either mind your rules, or escort them home, which would give you the chance to talk to their grandfather. If all else fails there is always child protective services which would be more then happy to inform him that such behavior is child neglect. I live on a street where people constantly speed (it's a short street too) and it angers me to no end that some children around here play out in the street with absolutely no adult supervision. These so called parents do not seem to care at all about the kids because they have not even taught them to look before crossing the street. I expect to see one of these kids getting hit by some speeder any day now.

Answer 2

The grandfather is probably from a time when kids took their bikes out and played in the neighborhood and only came home when it was time for a meal or the street lights came on.  That said, you probably don't want to exchange time with your daughter being supervised at their house.  I'd simply talk to the grandpa and tell him that you're having a hard time managing the girls when they drop in unexpectedly and it would be better for you if he would call to set up a playdate at a time when he could come with them.  

As for the twins, they're obviously without a lot of regulation at home, so try not to get too upset with their disobedience.  Just sit them down and tell them that when they play in your yard they have to follow your rules and explain them as patiently and persistently as possible.  Let them know if they break the rules they will have to go home.

Answer 3

I have an 8 year old son! I have every kid in the neighborhood come over! Ages range from 5 to 11! I don't feel that you need to worry about what other people allow there kids to do! Now if you don't want the kids coming to your house you need to stay away from them. OR tell them Not today. They will get the hang of it sooner or later!... Kids are Kids.. It's not there fault they want to hang at your house and play and there interest are not for your kid... Your little girl might have stuff they don't have and if they live with there grandparents I will feel for them they don't have there mother and father  they might admire you and your kid... AW Poor kids... I don't know but I don't feel you have a right telling them how to raise there grand kids.. I think they are quiet aware of these days....

Answer 4

Well unfortunately it sounds like grandpa has his hands full.. SO full that the kids are running all over with out supervision. Honestly I would walk over to his home with another parent in the neighbourhood and sit and talk with him to find out exactly what the situation is. There may be more to this. Maybe Grandpa needs help. I know that this is not your responsibility but maybe asking questions and trying to help would not only give you piece of mind but would help someone who has no one to ask for help.

Answer 5

Just go over and tell the man. As for the kids, if you don't want them doing things, take your child in if they don't obey. I used to have a kid knocking on my door constantly to play with my kids. If I didn't want him at our house that day, I'd tell him the kids were busy and couldn't play. After several days in a row, he slowly stopped comming by as much. Kids just don't understand and it was the nicest thing I could do without yelling at his parents. If they come over and start playing, tell them you want time with just your daughter today. If they don't leave, take her and the toys inside until they do. Its not right that him and the twins take advantage of you without even asking.

Answer 6

dont get the twins, get a single child

Answer 7

lock your door -somehow they are entering your home.