How to talk to roommate who gets easily offended

Question

my roommate gets easily offended. i tell roommate nicely to be careful with food spills, because it may lead to bug infestation, the roomie says something like, "don't talk to me like i'm stupid." usually, when someone tells me to be careful, i just respond, "yes, i'll be careful." am i in the wrong for trying to do the right thing? how should i communicate with this person?

Answer 1

Jamison, who said it was a girls.

When I was in college i had a roommate like this.. Oh, I hated it, and still when I think of her, I am grateful I do not have to see her sorry face again:) Anyway. That is what my roommate used to do too. She'd do something and when asked to be considerate of others she'd go all offended. I was raised by conservative people, and I have huuuge patience and i waited and talked, being careful not to offend, but one day... ... One day I started to get offended by the stuff she did, such as ignoring my requests. Eventually she did what i asked, but I got tired of playing that game. And ever since I never had a rommate, but I screwed up big - I got married and I can't leave my husband, just because he doesn't put his socks in a laundry basket, or leaves banana piles on coach, or puts his chewed up gum on the table...

If roommate is REALLY (for real) sensitive she should consider your feelings as well. If he/she doesn't then he/she is just an ignorant stupid head who needs butt kicking.

Answer 2

Maybe they don't get offended easily. Maybe you are just a control freak. A lot of people get really annoyed when they are going about their business and someone "Reminds" them of something they had on their mind anyway and was completely apparent. It sound condescending.

So if he or she is eating or cooking, I wouldn't bring up spills. If they do spill something and don't clean it up in a timely manner, then you can say something.

Answer 3

There are things like tone and frequency of reminders.  You sound like a person with a tight parent who "learned" to say ok and keep going.  To your peers however, this is seen as nagging.  Sure you may be correct if the person is a slob.  Maybe instead of stupid people warnings catch it after the fact then talk about it because its not a matter of debate whether your warning will come true or not.

(A lot of stupid folk get off on this technicality)

Answer 4

Some people are offended by everything. When I was young my family used to belittle me, nag me, and call me names. It took me a few years after I moved out of their house to realise that people were not attacking me when they were pointing out something to me. Try to be sympathetic to her, but also get across that you want this for your benefit as well as for hers. I don't think she wants a bug infestation any more then you do.

If she is being uncareful with food I would suggest some preventative maintence. Put up some ant and roach poison early. Just in case.

Answer 5

No, you're not wrong.

Some people are overly sensitive.

Keep being polite and nice to them. If he/she gets offended it's his/her problem.

Answer 6

I know what you mean. I've spent half of my life "walking on eggs."

I think that type of behavior is a sign of a mental disorder on their parts.