How to talk with a person who deeply hurts you.?

Question

If someone insults you and you did not say a word but after a gap you wish to give that person your piece of mind in civilized manner , how to initiate talking, what to say and how to make that person realize his uncivilized conduct.

Answer 1

forgive them and move on. because if you don't forgive them and move on it, you will want to do revenge on that person and it will only hold you back not them because you are stuck in what happened a long ago.

LET IT BE, forgive them, you don't have to see them personally to say i forgive you, in your heart forgive them and move along with your life.

Answer 2

i think we need to talk and solve it all...  

Answer 3

first think, is there really a point in doing it? is it going to make you feel better, as though you gained the upper hand or got revenge? do you think one conversation is really going to change this person?

i personally would just leave the person alone to go destroy their life elsewhere. it's not worth the effort trying to convince people that they are "wrong".  

Answer 4

The person caught you out first by making you think about what to say? and alot of the time its pre-meditated,If this person makes people uncomfortable including yourself, your best bet is to ignore it if you dont respond the person is unsure if you were effect by the comment or not? .

Hence this leaves doubt in his mind not yours, In the future make this person initiate conversation and keep it minimal so the ball stays in your court .

Answer 5

y, hav u been betrayed or somethin...

Answer 6

if ur aim is 2 make him realize his mistake,touch his heart by ur smile.Conceal ur motive.Do gud things 2 him.but ur qn reveals ur willingness to talk 2 him.No formality ,plz.after all he is ur frend.Be magnanimous!

Answer 7

Fight back and stand up for yourself. Be loud. Use force if you have to.

Your never going to get anywhere if this person doesn't know your willing to go the distance.  

Answer 8

I think there are several ways to tackle this situation...

first and foremost, I think you should consider whether the person will even be able to comprehend what you are about to say. As in, if they lack the EMOTIONAL intelligence to really take in what you say. There are a lot of people in this world I think, that just lack the emotional depth to do so, and if they do, then really whats the point? all the conversation will amount to is both sides feeling hurt and angry over the confrontation, one angry because they are misunderstood and the point couldn't be drive across, the other angry because they feel accused and cornered for no reason.

I've been this situation before, let me give you an example;

one of my friends was upset with me that she feels I am constantly cutting her out of my life, and whatevers going on in it. I tried to tell her that since I was young, I have had a problem opening up and talking to people about my feelings or really anything, and between sobs she says, "yeah but WHY can't you just get past that and TELL me?"

Some people just won't get it.

If you think the person will understand, then I say approach them calmingly and let them know also that you aren't bringing it up purposely to make them feel guilty or hurt, but that you want to be honest, and don't want 'bad-blood' between you two. or something like that.

I think if they feel like they aren't being cornered or particularly targeted, they're more apt to listen and care..

Best of luck! I hate conflicts and confrontation too. =P

Answer 9

I sincerely believe that other person does already know if they have deliberately hurt you.  Giving them a piece of your mind doesn't change a thing but only continues the challenge.  Nobody will win here.

Keep all you mind to yourself, you have already admitted to yourself you are upset and why.  Pray for this person and watch things come to balance.  No one has ever gotten away with meaness .  They will always reap what they sow.  You, me and everyone else !

Be strong, be smart, and go your way and look for friends who are kind and know how to have a friendship or relationship.  Some do not !

Never lower yourself to another persons behavior !  You are too important to do that. Your own self estem does not come from anyone else but you !  Work on that and let others do the same if they choose to.  I wish you would get the personalized book that is so powerful in showing you who you are and what you are. You can get one online at the site below in the source line. I would not take anything for mine.  It has your own name throughout the entire book and is all about YOU !  Very powerful and encouraging. You are important so let others be what it is they coose to be. Help yourself to become a greater person and live a good and happy life. You are the only one who can do that.

And you Can do it !  Grow in your personal life, especially in your own self confidence and worth !  I know this book will give you hope and strength to become a bigger and better person in life !  Become more powerful in you relationships !  

Be blessed in all you do !

Answer 10

i would go with something like:

you had no reason to say that to me.  I never harmed you or even spoke badly of you.

Answer 11

Dear friend,

When someone talks to you hot and hurts you, please hold your heart on those moments and don't respond/talk to that person. If you keep silence, he will realise after sometime that he had met with wrong behaviour to you.

Answer 12

Why would you want to?  This person will continue being who they are, and will continue to live in what ever way they choose.   YOU are the only one who can change the situation.  You have choices as well, and I would suggest that you think about connecting with this person again.  Why bring yourself down to their level by "giving them a piece of your mind"/   Do you think that is going to change them?  I guarantee you it will not.  You cannot make another person "realize" anything.   His conduct will remain the same until he changes that conduct, if he ever does.

I would not choose to have somebody like that in my life and if you want to be happy and enjoy life, I think you should think twice about keeping in contact with this person.

Answer 13

Everyone is going to hurt us at some moment, all we can do is decide who's worth the pain.