How to teach a husband how to clean up as he cooks instead of letting it all build up....?

Question

In our house, if hubby cooks, wifey cleans and vice versa. He cooks more then I do simply because he is better at it, but he also makes a HUGEMONGOUS mess. When I cook, I fill a sink with hot soapy water and wash dishes as i am done with them, so after we actually eat ALL that is left is the dinner plates, silverware and glasses. He leaves EVERYTHING, down to the whisk and the pots and pans, measuring cups, spoons etc. How can I teach him that it is easier not only on me when I have to clean up, but on him as well because he will have more counter room to cook on?

Answer 1

I think the thing to do is not to try to teach or change him - but, instead, to learn how to accept him, as he is, in your life.  

We had a teen niece living with us for a few years.  She was sitting in the living room with us as my husband & I folded laundry.  She noticed that he folded shirts differently than I did.  

She said to him, "Doesn't it drive you crazy, when you look in your drawer & see shirts folded 'wrong'?"

He said, "No.  When I open my drawer & see shirts folded differently than I do, I think 'Isn't it nice that someone folded my shirt for me, so that I didn't have to do it'"

:-)

Answer 2

haha men... they just don't understand. My FH cooks dinner a lot but he makes such a big mess! He's the only one i know that while cooking and get the food underneath the burners and down the front of the oven. And does he wipe it up after hes done? nooOoo. lol he just leaves it there for me to scrub.

Answer 3

I'm sorry I can't relate - I'd be so thrilled that my husband made dinner I'd clean up any mess it left.

Answer 4

You can explain it all you want and he can agree all you want but it's easier for him to just cook the way he's always done it and let you deal with the mess.

He doesn't need more counter space to work with so there's no benefit to him to clean as he goes.

Find an incentive for him, like maybe if you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning-up every little thing, which makes you very tired, you would have the time and energy to give him a nice b-job.  Nothing works better on a man than the promise of a b-job, or some other sexual thing.

You know your man, figure it out!  :-D

Answer 5

Well, I am a husband who does cook a little for my wife and I and I try my best to clean as I go along.  However, it is my wife who leaves a mess until the next day usually.  I have tried to encourage her to clean as she goes along to no avail....she just points me then to the trash to get it taken out or says to me it's time for the dogs to go out to pee.  Oh well...seems like everybody has their own cross to bear!

Answer 6

you can't it's a personal thing.  for me it drives me nuts to have mess everywhere so when i cook i clean as well (very anal) so a messy pot goes immediately into the sink, etc.  when my husband cooks it's like a creative explosion, messy pots, seasonings everywhere, etc.  but the food tastes better than mine :-)  so let the artist do this work.

Answer 7

I would be willing to bet that despite your kitchen dilemna, you and your husband have a pretty good relationship. Me and my husband are exactly like that...(how can a person get food on the ceiling???) I have learned that women like us are the few lucky ones who have men that do anything to help. So while it might bug me to no end that cleaning my kitchen may now involve tools such as a ladder, I love and admire my husband for offering to help with dinner.

Answer 8

LOL  good luck.  If you can figure this out write a book please.

Answer 9

if he slaves over a hot stove,

you should do the clean up..

you should be grateful... and besides cleaning is a womans job.

I'm glad I made you chuckle..

Life is too short..  to let little things bother you...

I love to get a stir with it's a womans job.

Have a good day...  and lets smile and chuckle alittle   lol

Answer 10

I have had the same issue for 7 years. No amount of complaining, hinting, or even talking about it has helped.

So if you find a way to change him let me know.  I just deal with it.   My hubby loves to cook, and has been a pro. Baker in the past so he cooks all the time

Answer 11

I am guilty of doing the exact same, except I do clean it up myself. I guess some people are just messy cooks! Good luck

Answer 12

I don't think all the explanations in the world will get him to change his ways.  Some people just see things differently, and I'm sure it makes more sense to him to just clean things up later even after you've explained this to him.  I've never been a clean-as-you-go type, either. . . it just doesn't work for me.  I need to cook, then clean -- it seems a lot more efficient to just deal with all the messy items at one time rather than flip back and forth half a dozen times.  Who needs a bunch of clean counter space. . . I'd rather just shuffle stuff around if it ever comes to that.

If it really bugs you, you can always decide to make the cook clean up and the other person gets the night off?  That may be what he'd really rather do anyhow if you ask.

Answer 13

I know it is hard with kids or even just one child, but maybe if you stand in the kitchen with him and show him. I've noticed that a good hubby is like a trained dog, you have to show them several times before they get it down, but then they do it each and every time. That sounds harsh, but it works for us, just as long as I am not pushy and my husband is open to learning something new.

Answer 14

I am the self proclaimed messiest cook anywhere! When I am in the kitchen cooking for 3, you would think that I was preparing a meal for 300.

I do have a small kitchen with very little counter space so I can at least use that as an excuse.