How to teach my 7 yr old daughter to be more independant?

Question

She is the youngest (has 1 older sister) she knows how to do things but refuses because she wants someone to do them for her. I encourage her tell her she can do it she's a big girl but I still can't get her to do these things. I won't do those things for her I make her do them, then she throws a tantrum, i don't give in but make sure she knows how to do it and show her and Im wore out from it.

Answer 1

My seven year old does that sometimes, what I do is tell her if you can't do something that she knows how to do (example: brush teeth), then she doesn't know how to do something fun (example: eat sweets). It usually works andgets the job done in no time!

Good luck!

Answer 2

7 yr olds aren't supposed to be independant... And if you want, just start with asking her about what will she want to eat today, stuff like that: small choices of her own.

Answer 3

You need to nip it in the bud. I have seen this with my brother's step daughter who is almost 9 now and she has been doin it every since she knew how to do stuff herself. I hate to say it but your daughter is not a baby nor a toddler so she needs not to act like one. When you make her do stuff herself and she starts throwing a fit I think punishment is in order to let her know that this is not acceptable for a 7 yr old to do. Such as put her in a corner or a time out on a chair where she can not see TV or play with anything etc... My daughter is almost 4 and she gets time out now because she is out of control wild and whatnot. It does not hurt the child to be in time out whether it be sitting down or standing in the corner...it might hurt their ego a little but that is all. Don't let her stand there and whine and throw a fit because she is still thinkign that she is getting away with acting like this and you don't want that...just think of it this way when she is 15-16 and you tell her that you are not going to buy her those clothes that she wants and she starts throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the store...you really don't want that do you? My brother's step daughter is really horrible about this kind of thing.She whined and threw a d**n fit for 3 hours straight(I am not exagerrating) because they could not afford back stage passes to a Hannah Montana concert. She went around and stomped and hit people and everything else you can think of. It does not get better with age it gets more annoying(sorry to put it like that but it really does) She also throws a fit now that there is a new baby in the house.She will start crying and whining when the baby cries,she will take the baby's bottles and rink them(yes with formula in it) she will take her binkys away from her and use them...and when its time for the baby to eat she will continuously WHINE that SHE IS HUNGRY,She's thirsty blah blah until someone gets up and gets her something then she throws it against the wall because she wasn't really hungry she just wanted all the attention back on her. Its really hard to deal with and you seriously should get rid of the problem while it is still evolving and not wait until it is full blown ridiculous. So yeah,I would sit her in time out (whatever you hose that to be) and let her know that this will not go on and she is a big girl NOT a baby anymore.

Answer 4

She will give her time

I would like to share a quote from a 7 year old

"Don't throw trash on the ground because you may have to walk threw it"

Enjoy her and let her grow, bless you both

Answer 5

You're on the right track, making her do them herself.  You could also maybe plan a special treat for her in order to reassure her that she will always be your baby girl, even as she grows more independent.  Maybe a little shopping & lunch out day, just the two of you.

The problem now is the tantrums.  Tell her she is not 3 years old and you will not tolerate them.  Warn her that from now on, tantrums will be punished with _____.  From what you wrote, I don't think you need anyone to tell you what type of punishment, I'm sure you do fine on that.

Answer 6

teach her how to do things like tieing shoe laces & them be over impressed about everything she does for herself , she likes the attantion more for being independent than being dependant so she becomes independant.

Answer 7

give her incentive, maybe a small allowance, or toy, etc. etc. once in a while

Answer 8

At 7 yrs old she should be doing all the things you are asking her to do ( some with supervision).

Do not listen to these parents who brush thier kids teeth at this age, they are not doing thier children any favors.

The more you expect from a child the more they will grow.  Make sure to make time for age appropriate activities.  But all of these basic hygene items should be stressed and shoud be stressed that it is thier responsibility.  

Im not really a fan of giving children rewards for doing things that they should be doing anyway, but mabee a chart on the fridge with a check off off all the things she must do each day, I guess if you are organized enough you could help her start a sticker book and if she does all the things on the list give her a sticker at the end of the day.

Remember that she is 7 though and even though she knows the general idea on how to do things....reminders are still required.

I am the jr high cheerleading coach and it amazes me how many kids are not prepared to be away from thier parents.  Basic money skills, hygiene, and even picking out a size for a tshirt or shoes...alot of them dont even know thier own shoe size.  It doesn't make the child look or feel secure it makes them look helpless and less smart ( for lack of a better word for dumb).  Its time that we prepare our children for the real world and the choices they will face.

It sounds like your on the right track....By the way i am aware that I will be getting the thumbs down from all the parents who feel that by doing all they can for thier children that they are doing the best thing for thier child.

Answer 9

send her to survival training