How to tell a 5 year old about death?

Question

my brother died this morning and i have a 5 year old who i am having trouble explaing this to it was a single accident but i have no idea what to say so she will understand that he is gone but we will bury his body the worst is that he was living with us so she doesn't know where he is please anyt help will be appreciated

Answer 1

well im still haveing trouble explaining tgo my sis that my uncle is dead she is turning 6 in october. i would suggest to tell them they are dead and they arenot coming back that it life...etc...(in more softer words)

good luck

Answer 2

So sorry to hear about your brother, it must be terribly difficult for you.  As for your daughter, she is only five years old and I personally don't believe in offering any informatiion to a child of her age,  unless asked.

Keep it simple because death is too complex for a child of that age to understand and they will learn about it soon enough in life.  Let them keep their carefree innocence for as long as they can.  Besides, at that age, they will create their own interpretation, one that they can understand.

A simple, "he's gone to heaven" usually is a satisfactory answer for one so young as she.   What you never want to do is go into a lot of details and give too much information as this can cause great anxiety in a child.

My friend was taken to her mother's grave and funeral (unnecessary) at five years of age and she had terrible nightmares for years of seeing her mom in the cemetary sitting up in her grave.  

A child that is older (10-12) can "handle" the realities of death much better.

Answer 3

If he was in an accident I would try explaining it in simple terms for her. Explain that your brother was in an accident and sometimes when people have accidents they get boo-boos. But, your brother was in a big accident which caused him to have a big boo-boo. I am not sure of your belief in God or anything, but, I would tell her that sometimes when people get really big boo-boos that no one can fix they have to go see God so that he can take care of them and make them better.

I would further explain what "death" is to her, but in simple terms and in a way as to not scare her, but make her aware of the situation. I would first ask her if she knows what it means and work off of that. I would explain that "death" means that the person can no longer live on Earth because God needs to take care of them, but God will always allow the person to be with us as an angel.  

Answer 4

With my son I had to explain that all living things die sometime and that when we die our body stops working, our heart stops beating and our soul leaves our body and goes to heaven.  My son is 6 years old but he was 3 when i first had to talk about it.  He does understand that once someone or something is dead they are gone from this earth but you also have to remember (depending on your beliefs) that children can and do see the dead so you may say he is dead and gone forever and she may say your lying because she may actually see his spirit so that is when things get harder to explain.  Make sure to give her time to grieve the loss too and accept it because it can take time for even adults but children can go even years before they finally say goodbye especially if it is someone they are very close to.  

Answer 5

I am so sorry for your loss.  We told our daughter (then 5) that her Granny died because she was needed up in heaven.  We told her that we were sad because we missed her but very happy because Granny was in a very special place and was protecting us from heaven.  We gave her a "feelings book".  It was a 3ring binder that was filled with blank paper and gave her a new pen set.  We told her she could draw her feelings in there any time she thought about her Granny and we promised not to look at the pictures unless she wanted us too.  She drew pics of Granny feeding birds in heaven, a broken heart with a band aid and towards the end the pictures were of happy memories she had about her Granny.  We also sent letters to heaven via helium balloon.  Don't be surprised if every now and then (even years later) your 5yr old will say she misses her uncle or brings him up out of the blue.  

Answer 6

I told my kids that when we are born, we each have a story of life, like a book. Some of us have big books and some have small books.  Your brother didn't have a very big book and (if you are Christian) God brought him home to heaven. His body is in the ground and his sole went to heaven. The real him is his sole. Good luck.

Answer 7

You should say SOME people don't live forever. And things happen for a reason. Some people are too old to do anything. Some people disappear, which no one wants to happen. People cause death by violence. Anything can cause death, it's just a matter of time when someone dies.

I only say "SOME" so she won't think that she will ever die, and she'll understand when she gets older.

Answer 8

First, let me say that I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I have 3 kids, ages 4, 5, and 7, and have had to explain death to them already too.  I don't like to bring God into discussions about death, for fear that the kids will be angry with God for taking their loved one away. So, I just tell them the facts; that everyone will die someday, and some people will die at a young age and some when they are old.  I am a home health nurse, studying for my RN, so they are used to seeing my books and homework, and I have always been 100% upfront with them about how the body works.  That makes it a little easier for me to tell them that this probably will be for you, but I just tell them that when people die it is because their heart stopped beating, or whatever the cause was, but that it is ok to talk about it and ok to feel sad, angry, whatever emotion they need to use to deal with it.  I try to make them feel as much love in the situation as possible.  If this is the first time your child has ever dealt with death at all, i would just keep it as simple as possible based on your childs maturity level.  Let her ask questions, and be honest when you answer her.  She will be in tune to your sadness most likely, and will probably understand more than you would think.  Kids are alot smarter than we give them credit for sometimes.  

Also, I would STRONGLY suggest not to use analogies (sleeping, gone away, etc).  that can give the child very false impressions and can cause problems with her sleeping and unhealthy attachment issues. (fear of you going to the store without her because you may not come back, things like that)

Answer 9

explain he was hurt very badly and the doctors couldn't save him and he died. His spirit (explain that it is the part that makes us who we are) has gone to be with God in Heaven and even though you won't see him anymore you can still talk to him in your prayers and that he is not in pain now.