How to tell my child, her mom died

Question

i am 27 right now, and when i was 26, i was dating the most incredible woman of my life. And so we had kids. The doctor said we were having a little girl but it turned out as twins. 1 boy, and 1 girl. but soon, about 1 or 2 months ago, she passed away, from breast cancer. it made me fall apart. It scares me when im older to tell my kids and their reactions. BUt currently i do want to spend time with them. i am currently a writer and drawer. i make good money. but i do want to spend more time with them. and to know that if i wasnt close with my kids and told them like "your mom is dead", it would tear them. its just, i want to be there for them, even if they are 1. but if u could help, id appreciate

Answer 1

Wait until you find a new girlfriend> Tell her if she loves you, she has to love your children, too, then after she helps you raise the children for a few years, and if they begin to like her, about the time they start kindergarten or first grade you can have her break the news to them, but by then it won't really matter, because they'll have a mom

Answer 2

say things like mommys in a better place, shes happpy, shes an angel, she'll always watch over u, nd things like that !

Answer 3

I lost my step son in a car crash at the start of last year and he lefted behind two beautiful girls , You don,t tell them wait til they are older and then sit them down and tell them they will understand if you sit them down and explain to them  

Answer 4

they're babies right now, right? so don't stress too much about it, just be there for them, and love and care for them, you are doing the right thing

and don't forget yourself, you have also lost someone special in your life, take time and do something for yourself, even if it's just mourning alone, whatever you want

they are young and i think when they notice they don't have a mom, that's when to break it gently and explain in simple terms and also say that mommy is i heaven, a good place and is watching over you both and loves you very much, explain that she is gone, but still with them, and make sure they know you are there for them (which they will because you love them and i know that you will be with them always loving and caring for them)

i'm sooooo terribly sorry for your loss, all the best

Answer 5

I am so sorry.

Ok how to tell ?

Tell then mom went for a long, long trip and she won't come back.

Answer 6

be real casual, and up-front with them. make sure you tell and show them what kind of person she was. itll make the burden easier on them and make u smile. : )

Answer 7

Im so sorry for your loss!

Just tell your babies their mamma is still with them, when they are scared or have nightmares, mamma will be looking after them. Tell them she is in heaven and they will be with her again one day. Keep pictures of their mamma around make sure to tell them a bunch of stories about her. Keep her alive through them. I wish the best for you and your children! Good Luck :)

Answer 8

how about say  this

they ask where mommy is

say you mommy is watching over us, protecting us

or

your mommy is a beautiful angel  

Answer 9

I'm so sorry, that's so so sad.  I can't possibly understand what that's like, but in terms of my situation (my son't Father wanting to be involved in his life) I have always been really upfront from day 1 (before my son could even understand) about how he had a Father that made him, but only a Mum that looked after him and there are still photos that he can look at.  Now that he's four it's just what he knows, and he doesn't think it's a big deal at all.  I'm sure that I haven't secured him being totally okay with it for the rest of his life, but I also think that it's a lot easier than having to go "I have some big news for you" and rocking their world.

If I was you I would be keeping her photos around, and not talking about her excessively, but at least once a day letting them know that they had a Mom but she's not living here right now because she's up in heaven like a star.  And just little things, like if a song comes on the radio don't be afraid to say "your Mom loved this song" and especially tell them the ways that they remind you of her.  If you got a new partner, then the idea of them having two Moms (one who's in heaven and the other one on earth that looks after them) wouldn't seem too odd - my son's fine with my new partner and the concept of having two Dads.

The other thing I would reccommend is staying in really good contact with her family if they are supportive of you, as that will be a really good way for them to maintain a connection to her.

I am so so sorry and I wish you all the best of luck.