How to tell my hubby I think he's letting himself go?

Question

My husband of almost 7 years has, until recently, taken really good care of himself. He was in good shape, took good care of his teeth and skin and was conscientious about his diet. But over the last year or so, he's stopped working out and he's been steadily gaining weight. He also doesn't brush his teeth as often as he should or shower every day like he used to. He also likes to wear one of his shirts all the time, even if it's dirty and he has clean shirts in the drawer and goes all weekend without shaving.

I've been trying to be understanding of this, but he's starting to gross me out. I'm having trouble being intimate with him. I tried to tell him gently that I was worried he wasn't taking care of himself and he said I was being superficial. He gets really defensive whenever I bring it up. He seems generally happy, so I don't think it's a depression thing. Of course I love him no matter what, but I'm worried I won't be attracted to him anymore if this continues. I've always taken good care of myself and stayed in shape for him, so I'm feeling like it's unfair that I should have to overlook his steadily declining appearance.

How do I tell him to start taking better care of himself without upsetting or offending him?

Answer 1

That's' a ruff one!! I think the best way to approach the situation is to do it with him. Tell him you want to start working out and eating right together. Tell him its a health issue and maybe he will go for that.  

Answer 2

Start with trying to get him to tell you why he has changed and is doing or not doing these things. Then take it from there. Let him know how nice he looked before and tell him you want that "s**y guy" back. Remind him of yourself and what you're doing for him. After coming out of the shower and standing there in your birthday suit, tell him that you look this good just for him, that you work hard to keep your body toned so he'll be proud of you. Let him know that being overweight is unhealthy and attracts all kinds of diseases and you don't want him to start having trouble by getting sick. Bottom line just let him know you love him but want him to go back to taking better care of himself.

Answer 3

"Do you see yourself in mirrors, lately? You're a pig."

Hate to tell you the obvious there, girl-friend.. but, this is what men actually ARE. They don't do what you do. Metrosexuals are just TV concoctions/media representations of men, to sell the products in those magazines/commercials... the men the ho's date on "s*x in the City" are actors, the script written by people without real lives, themselves. It a fairy tale.

What you are experiencing - is what MOST women ultimately discover.. that the "cute" boy in high school.. (giggle giggle, even on Gossip Girl, giggle giggle)... will be a not-saving, underarm stinking, doesn't KNOW how to wipe his rearend, pube-leaving on the toilet, wretched smells in your bathroom, hairy, breath-stinking, junk-food eating, pot-bellied MESS in his 30's and 40's at the very least. There's men that don't fall into the appearances-mess, that brush their teeth and have great hygiene (like me, for one) -- but, I'll give you some advice.. too.. wait for it..

(Unless there's a chick at work, that's young or married and is talking to them.. then, they perk up a little on their own, magically and actually dress great for work... for that fantasy or a little on the side.)  Besides telling the loser you married to wake up -- do you have HOT neighbors or GFs? if you do, start TELLING your husband that they're coming over -- so "get ready" and bring them there a lot, you'll see he's combed his hair, won't pick at his underwear, will clean up after himself -- and then, drop the ATOM BOMB by having the sexiest, youngest nieces, co-workers, neighbors, etc COME BY UNANNOUNCED and embarass the c**p out of your huband that ANY time of day, this may happen... he'll be pissed, of course, because his vanity will be shattered -- but then, you can make you point.... once he's exposed.

This is how Men think, no charge.

Answer 4

Sorry, but I disagree with the other answerers. I think you are being shallow. If he doesn't feel like working out anymore, maybe he's tired and wants to relax more often. And having to dress nice to impress his wife of seven years is just something  a man (or no one else) should have to do. I'm a woman, i'm 32, and maybe my values are in different places, but i'd let him be if I were you. The most I would do is ask him to take a shower and brush his teeth if he wanted to be intimate, otherwise, let him be himself, whatever that is.

Dressing to impress others in this world is exhausting, and silly. The last person you should have to wow is the person who is supposed to love you just for who you are inside.

Answer 5

Honey, this is your husband.  You've tried to be diplomatic.  I tell my man straight out...You stink!  Take a shower!  HAHH.  Seriously though...withhold s*x from him then.  Tell him, I'm not going there without you taking a shower, putting on clean clothes and brushing those teeth!  I bet he hops to it real quick then.

Answer 6

I don't know of a way other than being brutally honest with him.  It will probably offend him but it has to be said.  Maybe suggest daily walks with him, but him a new outfit, some Cologne, Good Luck to you  

Answer 7

Look at pictures from a long time ago and be like "aw look how cute WE WERE"  Then talk about how you both have changed and discuss steps to achieve your potential hotness.

Good luck:)

Answer 8

If you love him tell him the truth, take him out to dinner one nite and ask him to dress really nice, and let it be a really nice place you are going to and then once he is dressed and you are at the resturant tell him something like wow baby you look awesome and you smell great....the reason for this dinner tonite it because you need to stay like you are. I love you to death, and i know that you love me so I think we should start working out together to stay fit (maybe even suggest taking showers together just to make sure he is washing throughly lol) but whatever you say to him let him know that if he starts working out again it will be you and him. You are going to have to compromise alittle bit. Dont sugarcoat anything with him either, tell him straight up but do it in love...he will understand, he might be a little upset at first but he will understand (oh and throw away that nasty shirt, or you just wash it as much as possible, or "accidentally" tear it :D)