How to tell your mother-in law she's over stepping her boundaries?

Question

were having our first baby and, i have been doing best to have both of our family's involved with my prgnancy. the difference between mine and his is that, my family doesnt get involved in our personal bussiness and they don't ask about anything that doesnt involve them. THEY LET US LIVE FREELY. his family on the other hand makes me feel uncomfortable, they ask me personal questions that i wont even discuss with my mother or sister. i get forced into doing things, just to not hurt there feelings and it's driving me crazy. how do i politley say STOP IT??

Answer 1

Talk with your husband, explain how you feel, and see what he thinks. I really don't know what I would say other then I don't feel comfortable talking about/answering/doing that when the situations come up. Hopefully they would get the point. I understand how you feel. Good luck!

Answer 2

First try talking to your husband about it. Maybe he can diffuse the situation a little, so you don't have to say something directly to them. If that doesn't work, then when they ask you personal questions, you just need to politely tell them that you don't feel comfortable answering such personal questions. I really think this is your husband's place to say something though. It's his family and he should understand how you feel and be able to talk to them and let them know that they're being a little overbearing.

Answer 3

Man, i could have written your question myself!! same exact thing here. My baby is 6 months old now, and her birth gave my MIL an even bigger excuse to nosey around our lives. My family--like yours--respects our privacy and wouldn't even think of crossing boundaries.  My MIL doesn't understand boundaries.  She is a sweet person but just headstrong and INSISTS constantly ("yes, have more bread' or "yes, it's better to feed her formula"  or "yes, you baby will get SIDS if she sleeps with a blanket" or "yes, i will get her in the  middle of the night; you need your rest" etc).  

In the beginning I was polite, but then I realized she didn't "get it" unless i was firm. In fact, the only person i've ever had to be rude to was my MIL because she just doesn't respect my wishes unless i've been blunt with her.  

SO, i would start by being polite:   "oh, that's kind of personal, i don't even discuss those things with my sister!" (and, throw your head back & laugh...).  If she continues to ask personal questions/intrude, just be straightforward: "you know, sometimes you ask questions that are a little to personal and it makes me comfortable (give an example). i know you mean no harm, but i'd like you to respect my privacy and not ask those types of questions. it would mean a lot to me."

i've learned being honest is the best way to resolve these problems.  Try a passive/polite approach first, but then, if she doesn't get the hint, just tell her the truth.

PS -- don't ask your husband to be the go-between. like the game of telephone, the message will get lost.... You will be more effective on your own.

Answer 4

tell ur husband to talk to em about it

Answer 5

i completely and totally agree with the first post.