How to tell your parents you have social anxiety?

Question

I am pretty sure ive been suffering from SA for quite a few years now. But i have never told anyone not even my parents. It started not long after i started high school and is getting worse and worse.

I get extremely nervous even walking down to my local shop, I'm constantly going over in my head different scenarios of what could happen why I'm there and what people are thinking about me, I'm paranoid that people are always looking at me. I'll go way out my way to avoid a social scene...i even struggle to open the door to anyone who calls. Like i said it just keeps getting worse...

Ive started college recently and the course I'm on demands good communication skills and presenting to a large groups, which i just don't have. During class or any other social scene i blush, shake, start burning up, my chest hurts I dread everyday i cant talk in front of large groups or even 1 on 1 to people who i don't know, It's like a massive NO in my mind it's making me very depressed, upset, miserable. It's getting so hard for me very soon I'm just going to walk out.. Ive told my parents i hate this course and i want to quit without telling them my problem, They take this course very seriously and i just don't know how to tell them how hard it is for me, i know i can't carry on.

how should i tell my parents about this? my writing skills aren't very

good so it probably doesn't explain that greatly how hard and serious this problem is for me.

Answer 1

Your writing skills are just fine, sir. I have SA, also, so I completely understand where this is coming from.

Since you are between a rock and a hard place, something has to soften, and I don't think that your best option is to 'push through' school this way.

I was sort of having the same issue with school a few weeks ago. I felt like I simply couldn't keep doing it, due to social and other emotional problems. I wasn't sure how to tell my mom, so I just started to explain exactly how I was feeling, what my concrete concerns were, and it just escalated into a crying episode. So, then she wasn't pissed about my problem, she was upset that I was upset.

So, if you show genuine discomfort, your parents will at least not yell at you or act too disgruntled.

Take time off and try to get some help! Best of luck!

Message me if you need to talk or anything and I'll try to help you out. :]

Answer 2

I can totally relate to what you're talking about  because I suffer from the very same problem. It is not as easy as people perceive it to be and I think that is one other issue that aggravates this problem even more. My mom thinks I am this way because I am obsessed with myself and tells me more often than not to get over myself. Strangers look at me and take my awkwardness for stupidity and others pitty me in ways I don't want them to. I also know how this can also lead to other mental illnesses because I myself have been suffering from severe depression for so many years now, I've lost count. I too am in college and I experience the exact same problems you mentioned. I am one of the top students in my class but one of the least known because I always try to stay in the background and never participate in class discussions. I think that in a way has prevented me from performing up to my real potentials.

What you need to know is that you need not be ashamed of yourself for being the way you are. You should know that there are those of us out there who go through the exact same thing. I also think that you should talk to your parents about this and explain the true extent of your problem. You should try seeing a therapist and may be even join a support group. Try to take each day as it comes.

Answer 3

That's a bit hard because your anxiety probably makes it hard for you to tell them.  Would you feel comfortable writing to them?  You should know that there is medicine specifically for this (e.g., Buspar; Google social anxiety disorder, or antianxiolitics).  Once you get over the hurdle of telling them, and going to the doctor to get Rx, you can feel BETTER!  It isn't so much a mental problem as a biochemical one (shared by tons of people).  You don't have to suffer - better living through pharmaceuticals...  And drop the course - you could try again after you are feeling better, if they continue to insist.

Answer 4

I actually started having this problem a few months ago myself. Though mine was more like I would start to feel heated and out of it and nauseaus whenever I would go into a public place like a theater or restaurant.  I hated the way it felt, I couldn't enjoy myself at all and was always worried that people would notice.  Then I put up a post about it and one person that wrote to me put it into perspective for me.  What she said was that even though I felt out of it I wasn't going to pass out and even though I felt sick I wasn't going to throw up and  that the best thing to do when these feelings started was to breathe in through my nose and out with my mouth and the feelings would soon go away.  Well, I can't tell you how much it's helped me, I still get a nit nervous but I just remember what she said.  Believe it or not nobody notices it.  As for speaking in public, well, I just take my time and speak slowly and even if I mess up or it comes out like gibberish I just remember that I'm human!! I am not the first person to mess up a sentence and I won't be the last.  Oh, and I laugh at myself!! If I say something silly or dumb I just laugh and say "that was so stupid" and I get over it!  Just remember to breathe and not worry about what people think of you, it'll all be okay!!  Also if you do have to get up in front of people and speak you can start off by saying "I'm a little nervous so I'm gonna go slow if that's alright".  I'm sure no one will have a problem with that.

Answer 5

Only you can change yourself. You don't want to live like this, so stop living like this. I know that sounds so simple, but you know it can be. Just e how you want to be, act if you have to.. Forget about what others think. Who cares? If you care, you need to stop, because you care more than they ever will.

Answer 6

Thank god! finally someone i can help! lol. i just got over my social anxiety, and i want to help other people because i'm so much happier now =]

basically, there are three steps.

-leading up to a social situation.

when you are about to go out, or present something for example, running up to it DO NOT worry. i know that's like saying don't ever die, but just don't allow yourself to keep thinking about it. imagine like you don't have to, or you're in a dream, take deep breaths and focus on AFTER this situation, think of normal stuff like "hmmm what shall i have for tea??" thinking of such normal, every day things will trick your mind into thinking it isn't such a big deal.

next:

-positive thinking.

When you feel yourself blushing- let yourself. what does it ACTUALLY matter? someone will be confused as to why you're blushing- so?? do you really care what they think? they will be confused, but they won't think you're weird/weak/or any less than them.

when you feel your cheeks going rosy- smile. smiling releases natural feel good hormones that will make you realise that it isn't a big deal. also think of ice- picture an icy drink, frosty cold and yourself shivering.

mainly just focus on AFTER it's over, no matter how badly it went, after it's happened you WILL be fine.

basically, just force yourself to do think maybe you'd rather not, because no matter how nervous you are, you will survive it.

you're not alone and there is always help remember =]

just stop thinking through and through in your head what if this what if that, what do i do if she asks me for id etc etc etc. just think of casual stuff.

with friends, the more you talk online and on the phone the more easy you will feel around them.

also, it didn't work for me but it works for many people.

leading up to a speech, don't spend more than 2 hours going over it. this will just make you worry, after all it's only a speech, even if its awful in a few days no one will remember.

but make sure it's learnt, and then sit in a comfy place, light some incense and play some calming music.

lay down and picture yourself in that situation, imagine yourself feeling calm and at ease, run through in your mind the perfect outcome of this situation.

then, after this, NEVER think about it again until afterwards.

just remember, we're all just humans. all we are is a bunch of organs put together in the same way, life is random!! just get out there, don't allow yourself to worry, and it'll all fall into place.

the reason i got over it was because one day i was getting all worked up and i just thought "you know what? **** em. who cares what people think? i have one life to live and i don't intend to waste it worrying over things i can't control"

i just pushed myself into the limelight, ignored bad things, and forgot about myself. really focus on what you're saying, think of what it means, instead of thinking "what do i look like? what are they thinking of me? am i blushing?"

you're on your own in this world and if people think bad of you- **** them

if people try to drag you down- **** them

so why care what they think? you are you and you gotta stay strong and fight to be on top.

learn to stop caring about how much you blush, and eventually you'll stop, i promise =]

good luck and just remember, people don't matter. we're all like an ant farm, we're all human and we all work the same way. so don't give a **** about what people think.

stay strong

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 7

God you sound like I used to be. I couldnt even walk to the shops without feeling everyones dissaproval, and eveyone I met, I was certain would hate me and think I was weird and a pathetic.

Its been improving for about the past 5 yrs now, I am 23 and since I was 19 is has steadily improved.....the best advice I can give is "approve of urself".....then u wont need to rely on others approval...the ony reason you need it, is cause you dont have ur own approval. Once you have it, you wont need to rely on others to tell you how good/bad you are. at the moment ur thinking is probably, subconsciously, if someone says im good, then i am a good person, if they say im bad, then i am a bad person. Its a painful way to exist and you really have to approve of urself 1st, then magically others will see the good in you, and since most ppl dont really apprive of themselves and suffer on some level what u have, once u start to really appove of urself, u will really be in a better positon than them, having conquered it completely.

I would print a load of stuff off the internet about social anxiety, and then show it to ur parents, say its a recongnised medical condition...or go to the docs and dont tell them, but if ur in the USA where u have to pay for medical help, that might be very hard, if ur registered as beng paid for by them.

Answer 8

you need good frens good company a gurl and and goal in LIFE...lol

be your self...

watch movies if you feel bore...

dude geta life..