How to train your toddler to listen.?

Question

My daughter is overall a good kid. She is 23 months old and goes to day care about 2 days a week. She is wonderful at daycare. She is on a good schedule with sleep etc. My problem is that when i take her to anyones house she gets so curious she just won't sit still. It is so hard and dangerous. I know this is what kids do but i need to somehow teach her that she needs to calm down when she is at grandma', grandpa's, aunts, uncles, resturants etc. She also is very smart and knows exactly what she can get away with and with who. So basically i end up having a horrible time when we go anywhere because she gets into everything and it isn't like anyone else will stay ontop of her like i do. She will grab things that can hurt her or just make a mess. At home it is easier because i have rules, though she does push it at times and it depends who is watching her and if you are engaging her in something interesting, etc. My mom thinks more days at daycare will help, i don't think so.

Answer 1

She is at 'that age'.  The only thing that sometimes works for my son is to give him 'the talk' before we go anywhere including scenarios.  "What are you going to do if you see something you want?  Tell Daddy and I'll help you" Then hold the object and tell the child to touch it with only 1 finger.  This teaches them to be gentle (works for pets too) and they seem ok with that knowing it isn't going to be completely off limits.  You might have to add a little bribery in there too!

Answer 2

More daycare is never the answer.  You are right.  The real parents are the best to deal with their children - especially a concerned parent like you.

I have a 19 month old and a lot of experience with other children.  

1.  You can take a basket of toys, books and games with you (or leave them at houses you frequent if they are okay with that) that she will like.  This may or may not work.  New places to explore are usually top priority for toddlers.

2.  I would bring a bag of baby proofing items if the houses you visit refuse to do any basic baby proofing.  When we visit the grandparents, we take strips of cloth to tie the cabinets shut.  We cover the black stove with a table cloth so my son doesn't get dirty.  I also move any objects that will immediately hurt my child.  

This usually takes no more than 5 minutes to set up.  And well worth the child's safety.  If the relatives/friends refuse to help with some basic baby proofing that may save your child's life - then they probably aren't being much of a friend.

She will test the boundaries over and over.  My kid is a good kid too.  But he is curious and this curiousness takes over.  Babies brains are still forming.  Even teenagers have a lack of decision making due to their still-developing frontal cortex.

Answer 3

i got my neighbor to listen at an early age.

when she was 12 months old, everything i did i said to her in clear full sentences. like:

"lets go wash your hands."

"time to eat lunch"

"lets go get dressed"

and id have her walk with me and hold my hand instead of carrying her all over the house and i think that it has helped a lot because at 2, she listens (and talks!) very well.

for example, 2 months ago, we went to the mall, and we pulled in, and she knows she goes in her pink stroller at the mall.

so she said "pink stroller?"  i saod "no, not today.  we are going to walk in nicely like a big girl, and hold my hand, and not touch anything."

so we walked in, and she did not run away once or scream or yell or anything.  i sat her on the counter in macys, and she looked around and when we left she even told the cashier thank u.

Answer 4

You train dogs not children.  She is YOUR child no matter where you go and it is up to YOU to discipline her and to admoinsh family memember when THEY allow her to do things that get HER into trouble. It is up to YOU to tell the grandparents, the aunts and uncles that they can not spoil your daughter period.  YOU are the child's parent not them.  She should be following your rules at home, at the grandparents wherever.  Tell your mother that more days at daycare aren't needed, what IS needed is for HER to allow YOU to parent your daughter period.