How unusual is this, and can it work?

Question

I am married for over ten years. We have a very good relationship. He has been urging me to "sleep" with another man while he watches, and we finally did, in July at a pool party.

He loved it and went crazy and we have had the best s*x ever, since then. I admit I enjoyed it and think about doing it again?

How weird are we?

Answer 1

To each his own..doesn make you weird just don't be surprised when he brings up other "experimental" things this idea is not new to him..he has been thinking this for a a long time and finally worked up the nerve to ask you...be aware

Answer 2

there are worse things in life hun

..you should knoew that

Answer 3

you're not weird, just courting disaster.  although the s*x was good and you enjoyed the threesome, this is going to blow up in your faces if you keep doing it.  you will both no longer be able to get the same rise out of regular one on one s*x that you used to, and will keep trying to up the ante.  before you know it, you will become full fledged swingers.  that's all well and good until one of you starts falling for one of your extra partners.  stop now, before it's too late.  also, do you ever wonder if your husband isn't secretly g*y?  what guy would want to see another guy pounding his wife?

Answer 4

Wow.  You need counseling.  Get in touch with me and we will set up a session.  My rates are very reasonable.  And of course, you husband can watch.  And if you think doing it is fun, you should try looking at pictures and/or video of the event afterwords.  I will document our session with visual medias so you can see what I'm talking about.

Answer 5

I know people who enjoy this...while I wouldnt agree to it myself (and it goes against my whole idea of marriage), I would hardly say "weird". If it works for you, well who is anyone else to judge?

Answer 6

No, it won't work in the long run.

Read the following:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 7

You will get a lot of flack for this one, but whatever.  It's is all between consenting adults, who cares

Answer 8

I just dont get why he wouldnt ask for a woman.. Here is a chart that explains my view..

Me + Wife = Okay

Wife + Other Man = Dirty

Wife + Other Woman = Awesome

Wife + Other Woman + Me = Double Awesome

Man + Man = Yuck

Answer 9

It is actually not that unusual. Just be careful because this could have some consiquences. This could actually distance you and your husbands personal relationship after a while. If you have children you also need to be careful. Children have big ears and if it leaked out at school it could hurt them badly.  

Answer 10

That is disgusting.

I would think my husband didn't love me anymore if he even suggested that.

Gross.....

You don't sound like two human beings committed to each other body and soul....you sound like two d**n dogs.....that's behavior dogs exhibit, in case you were not aware.

Answer 11

as long as its all consenting adults on the same page you aint really hurting anyone, so its all up to you what you want to do, remember while these days we often most think in one on one relations, in the olden days it was normal to have more then one person in a marriage, also there are many cultures who still practise multiple person marriages

granted most solemly it goes one guy to several women, but thats just based on the rolle the man had in the past, in these days its leveled out and we all accept that the two genders are equal (at least in the west)

though its also well known from higher class aranged weddings of the west that either of the parts or both had lover(s) on the side, there was no love to the relationship it was purely a political facade. Even in these modern days, we all know that prince charles had his woman on the side, and diana had her lovers and friends.

so really your adults, its your life, and really no one elses buisnis

Answer 12

Very Very Very weird. What does it matter? If you and your husband are happy then why do you care what we think?

Answer 13

really weird....

Answer 14

You've opened the door for other realtionships to develop.

What happens when you want to be with another guy more than your husband?

His perversion is risking his marriage.

You liked it and want to do it again.What happens when you get a disease from one of these immoral guys who sleeps with other men's wives?

Or you end up pregnant,or some psycho falls for you?

Or you fall for some guy who dumps you and you are pregnant?

Or you fall for some guy and want to leave your husband?

How about telling him he needs to get his head out of the gutter and get some psycho therapy?

Then do not do this again,unless you are willing to risk developing all the above scenerios.

Answer 15

there are swinger groups all over its getting more common every day enjoy yourselvs

Answer 16

You may have found the best spice on the market for yourselves; if you are happy with the results then you should bottle and sell it.  Don't ask me about weird; I collect and restore old military rifles from around the world and when a building is full I have another one built and fill it and yada.  I also have a building full of old manual typewriters I collected for some twenty years; and a collection of Cadillacs.  Like I said, first you are going to have to define what you mean by "weird".  

Answer 17

Were you nervous?  To answer your question, no you aren't weird.  You are a married couple that have mutually agreed to an alternate lifestyle.  Swinging has become a huge deal these days.  You fulfilled a fantasy that your husband had.  Most men (secure) have the want to see there partner *** from the third perspective.  

As long as you two are on the same page...have fun.  A fun place to check things out, even just meeting nonjudgmental people is

www.swinglifestyle.com.  It is free and you and your hubby will sit in awe reading profiles.  it is amazing what is out there.  Good Luck to you two!

People need to watch what they say about her needing counseling.  She doesn't.  Those that feel that way are not very open - honest open in their relationship.  We all have these fantasies.  The lack of communication within relationships is why so many people cheat.  

Answer 18

It's not unusual, but eventually, when boundaries in a marriage are violated that openly, things go nuclear.

Answer 19

That's cool, just remember that like with anything else you need to keep your head and be smart about things to protect yourselves.  A couple that does this needs to have a great foundation to their relationship, (honesty, respect, communication) or it will all come tumbling down.  Your first loyalty should be to each other and anything on the side should be just that.  If you are committed to each other and keep perspective ot making a huge deal over the s*x then you have no more chance of falling for someone else as you do in everyday life.  I wholeheartedly recommend that if you wish to continue to do this that you both look at going into the swinger lifestyle.  That way you are both playing the game and your with another couple that has as much to loose and requires discretion as much as you do.  Single men carry the risk of bragging about what happened to others or trying to wedge himself between the two of you.  No one here can answer if this will work for you, you really just have to be introspective and open with each other to decide if you have the right kind of relationship to make this work.  

Answer 20

No your not weird, your just looking for more excitement in your s*x life. My ex and I did the same thing you did, it was exciting for the both of us and yes I wanted to do it again, and we did it, the next thing it lead to was my ex wanted me to do it with 2 guys at one time that two was exciting, until I realized he was selling me out for his enjoyment and I was being used. When I wanted it to stop he grew angry with me, we are no longer together and I am remarried to the greatest guy in the world, he is older than me and I enjoy being married to him we do exciting things to each other and only each other.

Answer 21

s*x has nothing to do with marriage. The problem is that people associate it with love. So there is nothing wrong with that as long as you both see it the same way.  

Answer 22

Really weird.

Answer 23

That's wierd that he enjoyed it.  I think your husband might be a switch hitter if you know what I mean.

Answer 24

you just want people to tell you it's okay or else you wouldn't of posted this.  thanks for contributing to the falling of society.

Answer 25

I don't know about 'weird', but as long as it doesn't negatively affect your marriage......then.....whatever.

I have a hard time understanding how it won't hurt your relationship, but good luck to you anyway!

And for the guy who believes that s*x has nothing to do with marriage, I feel really sorry for you (and especially for your wife, if there is one so unlucky to be called that).  s*x in a marriage is supposed to be sacred - saving oneself only for the other.  But, to each their own, I guess.  I can't complain at all - I've snagged a 'good one'.

Answer 26

that's definitely the weirdest thing to do that could actually reck a marriage  

Answer 27

To each is own but do not be surprised when he wants to bring another female into the picture.  I would never want another person because eventually it will bite you in the butt and someone will get hurt.

Answer 28

no more weirder than anyone else around here...good for you, whatever floats your (& hubby's) boat!

Answer 29

Wow, you are hot.  What's the name of your adult p**n site, I might sign up.

Answer 30

You are not as weird as a lot of people here are no doubt going to tell you.  I have the same fantasy.  My wife and I were working on making it happen for awhile (she has a lot of requirements about what she would feel comfortable with), but some other stuff came up so we have dropped the idea for now.  Some day, though, I really want to do the same thing!

Answer 31

VERY WEIRD!!!