How was your saturday? what do you like best?

Question

ONE SATURDAY

up kinda early

oh well so what

forget about my hair

i'm leaving it swirly.

what to do now,

ok, ill write those checks.

dang lesson in this money.

it comes and goes,

you sow it then mow it.

thinking i just wish,

it would forever grow.

now i'm painting some paint,

you'll deal with drops.

if your not really in to it,

you get the big splotch.

and about those chickens

when eggs are collected,

please be careful

breakage slime stricken.

on to the tortoise,

where's PonG today?

under his tree

and waiting for me.

i deliver his rose,

he likes those alot,

i rub his shell

and say a wish someone taught.

now get the wrenches

plumbing at hand,

got to have water

i dont give a d**n!

wow good thing a leak

is what kinda happened.

i found the handsaw

its been a whole week.

hahahaha!

so lets go fix the fence

then check on Bob,

talk about his elbow,

that poor ol nob.

maybe we get out of there

sometime before noon

so i can count seeds,

and plant on this new moon.

Answer 1

You obviously have no idea about rules in poetry.....which is a d**n good thing.... this just sounds like you talking (yes, I know I don't 'know' you - let's not go into that).

I thought I was a busy person...feeding my son's rabbit...what do I know - nuthin'

Well done...hope to see more...you and Reenie and Elyslund when you get all out-doorsy and countrified are sooooo entertaining.

Can you tell, I'm in a good mood? Man the sun is shining - Wow. What more could I ask?

Answer 2

Hey there Farmer it brought a smile to my face, you put much thought in your piece here!  Well done!!  Cheers !!

Answer 3

that made me smile....I am a farmers daughter and that is the life

all the best

Answer 4

very good

Answer 5

Haha. very creative.

I wish i could write like that!

xox jen xox

Answer 6

It's all good Farmer matey! A rap feel early on. It was part free verse and part variable rhyme and it told a story and painted a picture of where you are at. It has a good feel about it. Busy day man! You are such a story teller.

Just a lil advice from J-po. Try to settle on a rhyme scheme so it sounds a lil smoother. Be careful with your question titles so they don't get mistook for a non one.

Answer 7

A zig and a zag with this Saturday story!  Glad you liked the pie!  You tell a great story, working on structure and meter would make it even better.  Overall though, a fun read.

Answer 8

That was a nice work and I enjoyed reading. It has a character so unique and has so many things to say. Keep them coming!!