How will I explain to my 20 year old daughter that she's really not yet ready to move out of home?

Question

My daughter wanted to move out of home but she got no job, no savings, and has no plans for her life. She said she's just board and wanted to find herself away from us. She had started 2 courses after her high school but stopped studying in the middle of each semester, saying she doesn't feel her courses fit her. She missed her friends from the previous country we lived .

Answer 1

wow, I wish you were my parent when I was a kid....... d**n! thats depressing

Answer 2

tell her the truth no mater how hard it is

Answer 3

Sit her down & explain your concerns 2 her.Ask her what r her plans 4 the future, What she plans 2 do when she moves out, How will she support herself?( Make sure you focus on why she feels so eager to move away from home) But remember just let her talk be open minded don't judge. If she's still unhappy & wants to move come up with a 6 month plan with guidelines in order for her 2 move out.Set goals every 2 weeks to see if she is meeting the plan then go accordingly. The most important thing to do is compromise so you both can be happy. Also if she misses her friends come up with a way that she can keep in touch with them.( if anything make the final reward a trip 2 be with her friends) Best of luck

Answer 4

wow,she is homesick for her friends.buy her a villa back "home" b a good mom

Answer 5

Give her the scenario of what would or what could happen.

If that doesn't work, then you should give her a time to try it out at home. For example, perhaps for a few weeks, she will live under your roof, but you will not provide for her or help her do anything (cooking for her, washing her clothes etc). She will provide for her own stuff (clothes, food, detergent, face wash).

Answer 6

I look at it this way.  If she moves out, she will quickly realize that she needs a job to pay for rent, food, etc.  Then she will quickly realize that she needs skills or an education to make enough money to actually afford decent housing, tranportation, etc.  At that point, she will grow up.  She may then ask for help while going to school at night, to move home for a while to save some money, etc - the things more responsible people do when they are starting out.  

Most likely, by you just saying okay, that's a good idea, she will look for work.  Conversely, if you keep telling her what she needs to do, well, she's 20 and that method hasn't worked so far.  Sometimes people have to figure it out all by themselves.

Answer 7

Lock her in her room.

Answer 8

Ask her how she plans on supporting herself after she moves out of your home?  She sounds quite immature for 20 years old.  You may have to have a real heart to heart talk to her about responsibility and that she needs to get a job-- and stay at it, save money and prove to you that she can live on her own...if she rebels against that idea, and I feel that she will, you have no choice but to let her go but support her by telling her that she can call you at any time day or night if she is in trouble and needs your help....you certainly do not want your daughter turning to drugs or prostitution to survive on the streets, and unfortunately parents that just let their children go without a safety net of security that they will help them, that is exactly where they end up, or worse.

Answer 9

You can't explain it to her (...well, I mean, you can, but it probably won't do any good); you have to let her experience it for herself.  It is really the only way that she will truly understand what is personally necessary for the kind of life she chooses to lead.  She needs to experience the outcome of her choices if they are truly going to impact her way of thinking.  So, if she wants to move out, let her try it (of course, under the conditions that you will not be her financial supporter).  One of two things will probably happen:  Either-  She'll fall flat on her @$$ and eventually have to admit to herself that she was not ready or responsible or mature enough to make it on her own just yet by having to move back home and rely on your financial and emotional support.  Or- She'll struggle like we all do when we venture off for the first time and she'll learn from her mistakes in order to successfully cope with life...and keep on trying until she gets it right.  Just, whatever she decides, make sure that she knows you will always love her and believe in her, no matter what.... I think that is the best thing you can do right now.  

Answer 10

Well, I'm thinking,  if she has no job or savings, she'll be back home soon enough.