How will i cope with 2 young children

Question

i have a 2 years old daughter and am 5 weeks from giving birth to a baby boy. initially i was very happy at having another baby but recently my partner has been going out alot and leaving me to care for my daughter alone.

being 8 months pregnant i am already finding this difficult, but how will i cope with 2 children alone if he continues to go out all the time.

i am having to have a caesarean so will be unable to lift / play much with my daughter for a while.

Answer 1

I don't know, but maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to have another baby.

Answer 2

You really need to think about the situation you are in with him.  As you say he is your "partner" there is no commitment on his part.  Next, do you have any family you can rely on?  If not you need to let him know that you will be unable to lift and he really should help you.  

Secondly, about the children just remind yourself daily that these little lives depend on you, they need you, and trust me these days will pass by quickly, and you will be looking at the teenage years, then they will be grown up.  Kids need love and reasurance, if your partner is the father, then he really needs to step up and be a dad.  If he will not then you may be in for a rough time, try to get support or counseling, hang in there !

Answer 3

hunny you need to set this man straight. my sister in law is in your exact situation. she has a 2 year old and an infant and the bd does nothing. it's like she has 3 kids. however, no one has sympathy for her because she puts up with it. so, give him an ultimatum. if he continues with this behavior, you're leaving him. i promise that you'd be better off without him, even if he only helps out every once in a while. just keep in mind that your kids are going to somewhat follow in his footsteps.

Answer 4

Sweetheart, you will do it, don't give up! Your an amazing mum  

Answer 5

have you spoken to your partner about how you are feeling? if not you really should tell him that you will need his help a little more!!! do you have friends or family that can come help you out at all?

Answer 6

I have a 2 and 3 yr old and  my little girl was born 5 days before my sons 1st birthday my husband was very useless as far as holding babies or taking days off he still went out at night.So I felt like I was doing it all by myself what I did was forgot about house chores completely and dealt with only babies. and your daughter is old enough to be a "helper " like passing you the things you might need that she can pass or putting the tabs on the babies diaper make her feel like she your partner because she may act out a little less and it will make it easier.

Don't worry to much it, it does seem to work itself out after a couple weeks and you get into a routine. and as far as your other ahlf goes do thigns like you would do them if you were single and when he helps appreciate it and if he doesn't you know your capable to get the job done on your own. that way you won't fight as much about it. GOODLUCK  

Answer 7

My husband didn't go out much but, of course he was at work 8 hours every day and he was never any good with children (babies yes - he liked holding them - awake or asleep)....but I was for 10 years a childminder, and eventually the mother of four children.

At one point I had a 5 year old, a 2 1/2 year old, an 8 month old of my own and a 3 year old I was minding....you just get on with it.  (No relatives nearby, either - the nearest was 50 miles away).

Answer 8

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old... they are 25 months apart.  so When I had my second son, my first one had barely turned 2.  I was so upset when I found out that I was pregnant, because I knew I wasn't ready for another baby.  

The first year of having 2 kiddos was about the same difficulty of having 1 kiddo in the house.  Except for my 2 year old had to learn to be quiet - which we all know is difficult for 2 year olds.  However, he was alot of help... He knew where the diapers were, wipes were, blankets, and he loved to help give him his bottle.

The second year for us only began in June - but it has been so much easier than having one child.  They entertain each other, soothe each other, and are very good with each other.  When my first son was 1 year old, I still had him pulling on my pant leg everywhere I went in the house.  Getting chores around the house done was impossible.  Well I have a 1 year old now and a 3 year old... but I do nto have any pulling on my legs to entertain them.

I am enjoying having both of my boys, and now I am so greatful that they are so close in age.

Blessings to you and your family, Just get throuhg the first 6 months - and all is well.  :)

Answer 9

It'll work out.  I've also got number two on the way, and have been having the same thoughts.

Answer 10

my eldest was a day short of his first birthday when i had my daughter by section. their dad was an **** and we split up when i was less than 3mths pregnant. it was hard - even after the section. but i just put my head down and got on with it. i lived by the hour. never looked further ahead than that cos otherwise i would have crumbled. if you struggle then shout, make people listen. there is nothing wrong with asking for help. you will be pleasantly suprised though, it isnt as hard as you think. i watch mine now (who are now 6 & 7) and wish they were back babies again sometimes when they argue!! you will be fine, you will go to bed exhausted some nights, but as you already know, they are worth it. they arent babys long unfortunately. the hard part will be over before you know it. get your daughter a little doll and buggy ready. leave her bath her doll when you bath the baby, and leave her take her doll for a walk up the street and back with you and your baby - this worked wonders for me cos i would do it just before i knew the baby was due a feed. my son would fall asleep on the sofa when we got in which meant i had time to feed the baby in peace and if i was lucky have a warm cuppa!! good luck, you wont need it though, you will be just fine i promise you.

Answer 11

your partner needs to be around more, and if they're not now they won't be after the baby arrives so I guess tell them, or find help quick. it's not easy especially with a c-section I've done it.  

Answer 12

after the c-section you may want to line up some help for a week or so but after that it will all work out.. the 2 yr old will be busy trying to play mommy and helping you.,

Answer 13

you should tell your partner how you feel and see how it goes from there. maybe he didn't realize what he was doing, taking for granted that you care for your daughter. whether you two stay together or not, you will be able to cope with it. it will be difficult, but it happens all the time. also, i think your daughter will be fascinated by her new brother and want to be a part of almost everything you do with him. whatever happens, you will be able to cope. don't let it seem so overwhelming. have some confidence in yourself and i hope your partner comes around.

Answer 14

I'm a single mum with two girls who are two years apart. my partner left me when i was pregnant the second time. i had an emergency Cesarean with my 2nd. my eldest has Autism. I'm now a full time uni student and my girls are aged 7 and 9. i'm still single. You cope because you have to. That's the most frank and honest answer. you can't not cope - so therefore you do. but good luck

Answer 15

Either tell your partner he's going to be more present or leave him (I know it's not that simple but sometimes hard decisions have the best consequences)

Answer 16

Honey I've has 3 sections and I can tell you that he will have to help you, he won't have any choice, you won't be able to move for the 1st 24 hours, you will require a catheter, going to the toilet isn't an option, it will take 2 weeks before the pain isn't so acute,

I promise you the hospital will make him help, do as little as possible but try and walk arround day 3 as this will help

Do not have s*x until week 5 at least