How would I go about taking custody of my niece?

Question

She is nearly 7 months old, her mother works away in london and sees her at most for 1 and a half days a week. The rest of the time she lives with me. Her mother to be honest is far more work orientated than family orientated and it is breaking my heart to see the baby not know her mum when she picks her up on a saturday afternoon, and it also breaks my heart when her mum rngs me on saturday night telling me that Halie is screaming and crying and she cannot settle her...and i cant do a damned thing about it.

So, how would I go about taking custody of the child, as I am basically her mother figure anyways and i think her mother would appreciate it much more to have the burden she has once called Hallie taken off her shoulders. I mean obviously she would still see her on a saturday...but i'd have proper custody...

Or do you think its wrong to do that?

I just think its sad for a baby to not recognise her mother and as her mother isnt going to quit this job for years it'd be better

Answer 1

Talk first to the mum about her child and her, tell her that the child needs to see and know her mother, that that's probably why the child is not feeling relax and unsettled with her, tell her that she need to start looking after her child more or soon the child is going to be emotionally detached from her and emotionally not stable. And at the end if she think she cannot compromise her job for her daughter she should think about giving her up for adoption and tell her you are willing to adopt her because you love her very much and it hurt you when you see the child not happy. Tell her also that she can still see the child after the adoption. Just make sure you are very careful with your words as she will probably get her very upset. Talk to her first. Good Luck

Answer 2

You want temporary or permanent custody?  You might be able to work out a temporary arrangement with your Sister,

but she probably won't want to make it permanent.    You could talk to a lawyer, but courts generally will not award custody to a non-parent unless the mother is clearly unfit.

When we were first married, Mrs. Guy babysat for a series of little munchkins whose parents were caught up in the corporate rat-race.  The walked and talked first for my wife, and many seemed to regard her as "mom".

Answer 3

Do you have a contract with the Mum and what does your contract say?

Answer 4

The mother would have to sign over her rights or grant you guardianship.  If you want to forcibly take her, you would have to prove the mother unfit, like as a drug addict, endangering the child, etc.  It is very hard to do in a lot of cases because the court's number one goal is to keep the family unit intact.  To start, see if an attorney will give you a free consultation.  Most of them will, even if it's just over the phone.  Good luck.

Answer 5

You would have to seek permission from her mother.  The only other way to do it woud be to prove that the mother is somehow "unfit" and from what you say it doesn't sound like she is in any way abusive or neglectful to the child.

You say "i think her mother would appreciate it much more to have the burden she has once called Hallie taken off her shoulders"

You "think"?  Or you "know"?  You need to get the facts and discuss this with her mother.

Otherwise I'm sure her mother will be pretty furious you are considering this and you won't get to see Hallie again . . .

Answer 6

It's up to the mother BUT you might get hurt later cuz the mother could change her mind 1 day many years later after you raised the kid and decide she wants her back.

Anything could happen.

Good LUck

Answer 7

well its simple. You are not her mom. Even though you are way more of a mom than her natural mom, you won't be able to have custody of her unless her mom petitioned for it and even then, I am sure its a huge legal process.  Just continue to be the role model and caregiver she needs. That will be the best gift you can give your neice and it will pay off in the future when she comes to you and says "Thank you for loving me and raising me and not abandoning me like my mom did"

I gaurentee she and her "mother" will not have nearly the relationship that you have with the girl.  And your neices mom only has herself to blame

Answer 8

I think it will be much better for Hallie if you do that if her mom agrees then it will be easy you go to a family court and sign the papers and thats it. go to a family court and discuss it with them I'm sure they will have some booklets on it that can help! Good Luck! I think you are doing the right thing for Hallie!

Answer 9

If the mother will agree to custody all you need is a lawyer to file paperwork with your local courts and she can sign over custody to you.  You will need to talk to the mom about it first though and decide if you are going for temporary custody, guardianship or full legal custody and what would be going on with visitations.

Answer 10

Oh, whoua for me it s wrong because I am family oriented. If I were you I could never do that to my blood unless my sister ask for it. If I were your sister I hope my sister (you) support me and understand me (nobody is perfect). Maybe it is utopic but I believe that a woman nowdays can have a career and a family.

She is 7 months now, but don't worry if you are the one who takes care when she is sick, bring her to school.......

It is a longterm commitment at the end. She will know that you are her mother with or without papers.

Answer 11

Sounds like she would be better off with you but it is a lengthy process that includes; Getting in touch with social services, both you and the parent will have announced and unannounced vists by social workers, reviews meetings etc, possibly a solicitor would be involved then you apply for residency and legal guardianship good luck :)

x

Answer 12

The easiest way would be to suggest it to the mother and if she agrees, go through the proper legal channels.  Otherwise you'll have to sue for custody, which can get messy.

Answer 13

report her to social services, ask for a case worker and go from there.

they will guid you into the best outcome for the baby x

Answer 14

There is a procedure which is long and drawn out so I would suggest you go to citizens advice to get all the details.  In the meantime remain as committed to the child as you have done, focus on making her a happy and loved child and when you can apply to ask for permission for custody, with the help of social services and a solicitor