How would a person put an older child (8-10 years) up for adoption?

Question

Before the flaming begins, I am a writer doing a story about a 9 year old boy whose mother dies and the father doesn't want him, but is 'stuck' with him and getting rid of the kid is a turning point in the story. So, I was wondering if anybody had any experience with something like this, or knew what the process of putting an older child up for adoption was and I thought I'd try asking here instead of harassing agencies and wasting their time with a hypothetical question.

I also realize that it is a piece of fiction and I could certainly just make it up, but I also figure that details of how it actually works may inspire other turning points or scenes.

Any light on the subject will be most appreciated!

Answer 1

why would you want to do this in the first place, I know that you say you are a writer, but that is besides the point it is not a game

Answer 2

The quickest way is for the father to call social services (in fl it's 1800-96- abuse and say 'come get this child'.  It's considered an abuse report, even if the child was not abused.  The father would have to go to court and tell the judge that he is not able to physically care for this child, he may still be required to financially support this child. The child would be placed in foster care until the father's rights were terminated, approx 90 days (in the mean time they would try to reunify and get a counselor to see if they could be reunified).  The next step would be to find the child an adoptive home.

Answer 3

Well there are several ways it could happen.  Three stand out in my mind though

#1 ~ the birth father would contact an agency to place the child in a forever home.  The father could find this agency in the yellow pages under "adoption"

#2 ~ Someone in the birth father's life hears about his child or knows the situation and they work with a lawyer to transfer guardianship from birthfather to adoptive family.

#3 ~ Birth father could contact the local Department of Social Services or Child Protection Services to have them take care of this child.  That way would really be the most hands off way for the Birth Father to "adopt out" his son.  All he has to do is make a phone call and sign their paperwork and his responsibility is done.  They DSS or CPS would then place him in a foster/adopt home that would be interested in adopting him.

Answer 4

Another option would be for the father to arrange an informal placement with family or friends.

The father might, for example, ask his own parents, or his dead wife's parents, to care for the child. He could assign them custody, giving them the right to make decisions for the child.

This would certainly be less traumatic for the child, who would presumably already have some type of relationship with the new family.

And it happens quite a bit -- parents will leave their kid with grandma and grandpa and kind of "forget" to pick him up again.

Answer 5

I actually knew of this situation happening in real life.  Dad didn't want his 8 and 10 year olds.  Gave em up.  I think the psycological damage was over the top.  Both kids ended up in maximum security.  They had been perfect.  Dad should have had his nutz cut off.  Completely irresponsible hippy scum.

Answer 6

i adopted a 7 year old boy not too long ago.he had a situation similar to that but it wasn't that his father didnt want him.it was becuz his father was a recovering drug addict and couldnt afford to take care of him.i do know that he loved him very mucha nd it was hard for him to let his little boy go.

Answer 7

Now that's a SAD story!  The huge jerk would just call his local state agency for foster care, who would come and take the child to a foster home.  I hope your story has a happy ending, like the child loves his new family etc.

Answer 8

Thanks for clarifying your question.  I appreciate an author who does the research necessary to make it more believable.

Anyway...here's the scoop.

Probably the most effective way to do this (since a child in that age range would be difficult to find an adoptive family for) would be for the birth father to contact the department of child welfare (or whatever it's called in the fictional father's state) and relinquish his parental rights.  They will take the boy and attempt to find a home for him.  

They will put him in a foster home if one is available (if not, then he'll likely be put in a group home, treatment facility or shelter), they will seek out relatives first, probably, to find an adoptive resource for him.  If there are no relatives who are able to adopt the boy, then they'll begin to seek out other resources for him.  They'll likely put his information on http://www.adoptuskids.org to see if an adoptive family will self-match while they seek a match as well.

There is also a neat thing in most states called the Heart Gallery where they put portraits up (like an art gallery display) along with some biographical information about the child.  You can go to http://www.heartgalleryalabama.com/ for an example of a good one.

I hope this helps.

Answer 9

Call your local adoption agency- they will help. Every city has one. There is also Catholic Charities that will guide moms and dads.

My aunt tried to put our cousins up for adoption- she first turned them over to social services and they went to foster care. Later my parents received a letter stipulating that they would be placed for adoption but they were older- 8 and 10 at the time. They came to live with us after our home was checked out and grew up there.

I would love to read this book when it is finished! You are right, the details are important.