How would i show this to the American government?

Question

Okay, if ,hypothetically, I had a lifeform from another planet in my garage (it keeps chewing on my tires), how would i (legally) go about presenting it to the Government?

Answer 1

I agree with the answerer who answered this in the Astonomy section.  Call animal control.  They are trained to deal with Firestonians and Goodyearalites.

Answer 2

Call up your local police station and say hey man I have some kind of alien eating my tires, can you help me out?

Answer 3

put the pipe down and go take a nap. stop using brain power you don't have.........

Answer 4

Presenting it to the government... forget it - they'd be like "Ugh, we need to do another coverup."

First, take it to the tabloids and make some money.  Then, take it to the mainstream media/press to gain credibility (and free publicity).

Then once it's sufficiently popular, find a talent agent and get a reality show deal, do some TV commercial spots (it can't possibly be uglier than those Quiznos monsters from a few years back), and book a world tour for people to pay big bucks to "see the alien live".

Answer 5

Well, you'd be a d**n fool to give it over to the government, wouldn't you. So many choices. Menage a trois with the alien creature would get you on Springer. Adopt of marry the thing and sell out to the Inquirer. Is this thing photogenic? I mean there's a h**l of a difference between ET and the things that chew their way out of your belly.

Of course, it probably depends on which planet we're talking about. Sounds like you might have a rubber-eating Blorg from planet Firestone. Or it could just be your spouse keeps hitting the curb and just telling you it's an alien chewing the tires. You believed that story about why your second kid has red hair.  

Answer 6

Call the Men In Black.  Now.

Answer 7

are you serious???if you are just call some government agency dont go to the local authorities. if youre making this up, get  a life

Answer 8

take off ur pants and act like its ur weiner. ull make all the tabloids the next day fer sure.. then u can tell everyone what it really is.

Answer 9

sure "hypothetically" well if i was up to me i would just show them, i mean is there any other way? also it depends if this "lifeform" is friendly.