How would tou feel if your MIL was like this?

Question

I have a 6 month old baby who she wants to watch but I wont let her (not ready to do that yet) and I have Hard feelings against her. Its a long story but here it goes. When I was preg. with her (6month old)I was in some SERIOUS pain she had her feet wedge WAY up in my ribs from about 7 months. OUCH!!! Well I would cry alot and say I wish she would just be born and I was tired of being preg.and so on. (not being literal though) Well she would call my husband bitching and telling him I didnt care about the babies health and being selfish (yadayadayada). Well about a week before she was born she came over b/c I shouldnt be by myself (I'm 28 not 12) so I sent her back home only a mile away. Well I went into labor at 36 1/2 weeks and had my daughter and glad I did (she weighed 8lbs 7oz). She refused to hold her and never came to visit at the hospital. Since the baby was born shes seen her maybe 15-20x if that. Well I asked her why she treated us like that and she said it was MY FAULT ugh the nerve. What did I or the baby do to deserve to be ignored and I feel like she was taking out on the baby. I could care less about a relationship (she's ran her mouth a lot about me to my sis in law) Am I wrong to feel this way towards her. She didnt treat my other 2 kids like that and then to act like she never treated us sh*ty. I dont think so

What would you do and how would you feel?

Answer 1

oh my gosh. you can sure tell the mature comments verses the immature ones.  here's mine.  go to your MIL and hug her hard.  she's a loving and good granny, who raised the man of your dreams.  she deserves all the respect you can muster.  put her back up in your lives where she deserves to be.  you are so, so lucky as is the rest of your family.  she feels your sour attitude and doesn't know what to do.  she's afraid.  make every effort to be understanding/forgiving for everyone's sake.  don't wait another minute.  she means well, and you should [AND your hubby for gosh sakes] owe her a life time of love.  now hurry!

Answer 2

that baby's huge

Answer 3

My ML did not care to see my adopted child for the longest time, so don't feel to horrible- even though I know that is easier said than done. You need to share this with your husband. You have not said what he is thinking about the treatment you seem to be getting from his mother. My husband was very supportive of me, due to the fact that he never had a relationship with this mom much, even though they lived in the same house.  Don't understand why she would treat your newborn like this, if she was ok with your other kids.  

Answer 4

I would cut her off from your kids entirely until she wants to act like a grown up and adjust her attitude. Your husband can deal with his mother - he needs to step up and make it very plain that she is disrespecting him when she is disrespectful to you. He needs to make it abundantly clear that he won't put up with it - you are his wife and you come 1st. That's Biblical by the way! ; )

My MIL has been cut off from my children for a while - she wasn't respectful and I didn't feel it was safe for them to be around her. I wouldn't let my best friend hang out and bad mouth me to my children (not that she ever would) - why should I allow MIL to? My husband told her if she couldn't play nice, she couldn't play - so she made her own decisions. She has bad mouthed me to my SIL too - whatever. I am responsible for my family's health and well-being and having a back-stabbing woman in my home isn't very constructive for kids' happiness and emotional well-being. It was confusing to them.

Have a long talk with your husband - he needs to back you up and get her to apologize. If she refuses - let her stew.

Answer 5

She sounds like a royal pain in the butt.  Believe me when I say I know family can really suck.  But unfortunately, if you want your other children to continue to have a relationship with her, you need to rise above and move on.  I know it's hard.  Show your children that you are the better person.

But having seen her 15-20 times??  In 6 months?  And you are complaining?  My dad has seen my daughter 5 times in 17 months!!!

Answer 6

She has seen her 15/20 times!  Wow - my MIL lives up the street from us (about 24 blocks) and has seen her grandchildren 2 times this summer!  And I feel your pain with the whole feet in the ribs - my daughter did this to me and it's no flipping picnic!  I would just let her cool down and maybe she will come around.

Answer 7

Try to avoid her when you can. It would be pointless to try to make amends with the MIL if she doesnt feel the need to want to be nice or polite. Perhaps when she realizes she is missing out on her grand daughters life, she'll come around. In the meantime I wouldnt lose any sleep over it if I were you.  

Answer 8

Stick to your guns!  Why does she want to watch your baby now if she didn't want to have anything to do with her in the first place?   Good luck!

Answer 9

At least she sees your child...My daughters father has seen her maybe a total of 20 times in the Past 13 months

Answer 10

I totally understand your pain. MIL is not very good to my 7 month old son but spoiled the sh*t out off my 4 year old stepdaughter.  That baby did nothing wrong to either off these women and they need to stop taking there anger no matter if it is needed or not on these babies. My MIL has been told by her son many times that she needs to not act like this to her grand-baby. I think you need to be like  I now am with my MIL.......I do not let the kids go with her alone at all  because if  you can not do for one and not the other, when we are with her as a family I am as sweet as pie to her (kill her with kindness),  I always mention around her or when on the phone how my family always gets the kids things together and spends time with them together. It's not easy to deal with an I bite my tounge alot - surpirsed I still have a whole one actually....lol.  Good Luck with the MIL!