How would u feel............?

Question

hey,

my boyfriend and I have brought our own house togther and have been toghter since we wee 16 -5 yrs ago, hes been on about gettin engaged and gettin married in a couple of yrs which iv been so excited about, we were talking last night and hes sayin get engaged in a couple of yrs! app when he was saying get married he meant engaged... i feel completely gutted tbh! esp when he goes on about gettin engaged at xmas(yes this yr!!!) hes completely confussed me and i feel a bit losted i shouldnt of got my hopes up but im gutted..iv now told him i dont wanna get engaged as if i was to get engaged i'd want to get married not just get engaged for sake of it!what do u think?without judging thaNKS

x*x

Answer 1

Its not right what he's doing to you.it sounds like he doesn't what to commit to you right now.Why does he what to wait to get engaged in December 08' .Ok try this to push it along go out and buy a ring (doesn't have to be expensive) for him and ask him to marry you and if he says yes then discuss a wedding time frame and don't let him put it off too long, don't what until Dec to get engaged  take charge of your future.

hope this helps honey good luck.

Answer 2

I'm sorry, but I can't answer a question that I can't read.

Answer 3

Men are not mind READERS! Please tell him how YOU feel. You might be surprised to find out that he might feel the same you do and is just throwing out dates for the sake of it. You need to able to express/share your feelings with the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Answer 4

I can understand your situation as one of my friend broke up with his boyfriend just due to his casual attitude towards marriage...

i think you can sort this out by talking to him sweety...

but personally i would say that you should wait for another 2 years

Answer 5

Maybe he just wants to surprise you.... And he is just trying to confuse you, which he seems to be doing a good job.  Maybe wait until January to really bring the subject up to him again.  But he might just be saying all of that to throw you off.  

Answer 6

Tell him that you don't want to get engaged until you can start planning a wedding.  An engaged couple without a wedding in the works is not really engaged.

That way he won't ask until he is ready to really work on the process of getting married.  It sounds like he does want to marry you - just not right now.  

Answer 7

Not to be rude but can you please type in proper English as opposed to "Internet" slang?  I found this rather difficult to read.  So what you are saying is you thought he wanted to be married in two years but what he was saying is get engaged in two years? Now he's saying that he's considering proposing at Christmas this year?  Well I would have to have a serious conversation with him to find out what exactly it is that he wants. You don't want to force him into anything, so make sure that HE wants to get engaged at Christmas.  I would be upset if my Fiancé and I had discussed one thing but he changed his mind. If you are happy to wait and want a time frame that is understandable and I'd say your feelings are justified. Just talk to him and try to set some expectations about your life plan.  It sounds like he is very serious and committed since you have already bought a home.

Answer 8

As long as you will get married eventually after the engagement I'd stop worrying about it...  Wait for him to propose and let it be a surprise...  I went though something very similar.  My fiance and I were dating since I was 14 and for the longest time he talked about proposing when I was 18...  Then it became he wanted to wait until I was out of college...  I quit college to go to beauty school, so then it was after beauty school.  He wound up proposing while I was still in beauty school.  Just tell him that you love him and want to marry him, but you want the proposal to be a surprise.  This way he wont tell you when he's planning to propose and you wont get confused or disappointed if he keeps changing his mind about when he'll do it.

Answer 9

I know when you get engaged,its like you wanna get married right away,but is there a reason why a couple more yrs he wants to wait.Is it cause of school.Maybe he wants to wait til you guys have enough money saved for that dream wedding.I dont know,but he should at least set a date.Would that make you happier.

Answer 10

this has happened to me before

my boyfriend asked me 2 marry him and said we could choose the ring together tomorrow, so the next day we went, and wen we got there he said he wanted to get engaged in a few years!!! i was like  WTF and was really gutted

im still with him and guess that a ring and piece of paper dont mean everything

Answer 11

I am not sure, but I think he is leading you on.  If you do get engaged I would set a date for the wedding.  I Think this is why people should wait to live together until you are married.  Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?  

Answer 12

It sounds like there's a big communication gap.  You think he meant one thing, he thinks he meant another.  If the two of you can't sit down and have a genuine conversation about what you each want, then you have no business getting married at all.  And, why would you buy a house together unless you had firm plans about your future?  This isn't all his fault.

Answer 13

obviously you've loved him enough to be with him for 5 years. why rush to get married? do you just want the validation? I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and definitely don't see the need to get married. just be happy.