How would you change these serious articles into sarcastic ones...[has to be humorous]??

Question

Article 1.

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Article 2.

Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, s*x, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.

Article 3.

Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

Article 4.

No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms.

Article 5.

No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

Article 6.

Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.

Article 7.

All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Article 8.

Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.

Article 9.

No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

Article 10.

Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.

im really stuck and cant think of anything funny.....so i desperately need your help...

thanks =]

Answer 1

1. Everybody is born equal, so they are all the same and nobody's different. It's a monotone world where everybody has the same opinions and do the same things.

2. Some very different people gather in one room to have a meeting about some major world issues. They all think they have the right answer. One goes: "are you thinking what I'm thinking?", thinking that they ARE thinking what they are thinking. The other goes: "I think so." Then, when it comes to the end of the meeting, they all go. "Oh, that was a great meeting, I'm glad we're solving it by-- (tons of different answers here)" -awkward silence-

3. Everyone is entitled to the same things (and these things are good: liberty, etc.). One person decides to pursue a different thing that everyone is entitled to, although they don't realize that they are entitled to it-death.

4. A spoiled little brat of a girl yells for her servant. The servant appears, but with a satisfied grin on her face because she knows that slavery is over. The girl asks for a cookie and the servant waves it infront of her face and then eats it herself.

5. Everyone is happy-go-lucky. "Hello, I love you." "Thank you, good day to you, too!" "Okay, don't forget to tell everyone you meet today that you love them!" "I won't! I love you!" "Okay!"

6. Everybody stands out the same amount, therefore everybody blends in. It's a vicious cycle.

7. In order to do this, the person before the law must stand in a room so people won't be prejudiced by their race or age. Someone accidently opens the door, looking ofr a bathroom. Everybody gasps. The system is broken.

8. I don't know this one. It's confusing. Sorry.

9. Since there is no punishment for anything and no recognition in the media for committing a crime, nobody's interested anymore. The world should've done this long ago.

10. (FINALLY! My fingers are dying!) There is an actual schedule for each public hearing. They are set in 10 minute blocks, each. The company that makes these schedules make them into notebooks. There was one typo, s******g up the whole 10 min. block idea. Nobody knows what to do. They were so used to perfectness and now they're going crazy.

OH MY GOD.

MY HANDS.

MY FINGERS.

my poor, poor, fingers...

I hope I helped.