How would you combat this argument?

Question

i am being ostracized by my two closest friends because they do not believe for one second i have the drive to homeschool myself. i can't exactly whip out my box of motivation and show it to them. anyway, one of their major supporting points was that i'm no different from any lazy american, and americans are just way too lazy to teach themselves and that what is human is to seize knowledge *from a qualified teacher who understands the material handing it to you.* that us spoiled americans can't do a THING. (such vast judgments coming from 14/15-year-olds..)

is the only way i can possibly support my belief that of COURSE i am capable of learning without being spoonfed tidbits by a teacher, to actually do it? i know i can, but i how would i argue that verbally? i KNOW that OF COURSE people are capable of doing this, OBVIOUSLY, and it's not impossible to have the motivation, OBVIOUSLY!

but do you think their logic the kind of unreasonable drivel it's almost impossible to argue against?

Answer 1

I am a 40 year old American freelance graphic designer for the last 12 years - and I am 100% self taught in my profession.  Humans can teach themselves anything they need to know - and today, more than every, humans have access to information from a wide variety of sources.  Home schooling (like working from home, in my opinion) is a great way to take control of one's own life and live by one's own standards.

I am surprised that your friends are ostracizing you.  I think very often when we do something that is unusual, our friends or onlookers somehow take offense.  They think "why doesn't she want to do this anymore" or "what makes her think she doesn't have to do what everyone else is", etc.  My guess is that your friends are giving you a hard time and spouting info they've heard from adults because their feelings are hurt or some such.

To combat this argument, I suggest taking them to some homeschool web sites that show stats on it's success.  I also suggest that you ask your friends to have faith in you and help you in this, rather than detract from your effort.  I also suggest that you say to them that you still love them and still want to maintain a relationship with them and that homeschooling shouldn't affect your friendship.

Peace!

Answer 2

I'm sorry that your 'friends' don't accept you.  I don't know how to combat the argument.  I guess you will need to find new friends that you will not have to be like them to be accepted.

It is frustrating but you have more important things to do with your life than to worry about what other people think.

Answer 3

Really, I'd just say to h*ll with them. Their reasoning--if you can even call it that--is proof of what public school does to you... it makes you dependent on someone else to think for you and spoon feed you facts (usually cut up very tiniy so they're easy for you to digest) that you can later vomit all over a standardized test. That's not learning. Homeschoolers learn to THINK and RESEARCH and SOLVE PROBLEMS and just learn how to draw knowledge from EVERYTHING AROUND THEM. We start out this way as babies, and even in the preschool and kindergarten years. But after a good ammount of time in public school, most of us have this drive to learn and explore beaten out of us.. *speaks in a sarcastic tone*.because there's NO WAY we could EVER learn ANYTHING on our own. If a teacher didn't say it, it CAN"T be true. *opens mouth wide* Teacher! I'm ready for another spoon full!

Answer 4

Hey man look... If you want someone real to talk to message me and we'll chat in private. I can help with your questions.

I've been where you are now and I know some private things I would love to share with you, about where you're heading...

Answer 5

Sometimes you can't get your friends to support you.  It would be interesting to know if they think all the american who do teach themselves are somehow faking it.  

I have seen people learn for themselves, I have done it myself and I'm sure that you can too.

I think you and your friends should all read Grace Llewelyn's "Teenage Liberation Handbook".  It may help explain some things to your friends and help you with ideas about how to get on in the real world.

Good luck :D

Answer 6

Honestly, the only way you can combat it is by actually *doing* it.  That is the only thing that will change their minds.

It sounds like your friends are very tied into the notion that education can only come from a teacher in a classroom, and nothing that you *say* is going to change that perception.  You know it's possible, I know it's possible, and just about everyone on this board knows it's possible.  Your friends, however, don't know that yet (apparently).  

So, show them!  It will take a while, but they'll figure it out.

In the meantime, find some friends who are homeschooled and understand what's possible.  There are homeschooled kids all over the place, and they'll likely accept you just as you are.  Don't give up on your old friends, but don't hang out with them just to hear negative lies, either.  :-)

Answer 7

i agree that the only way to prove it is with time.  I completely disagere with your friends as I have taught myself many things over the years including-keyboard, html, several computer programs, crocheting, knitting, and much more....  

yeah- America is spoiled, but its crazy to say no one can teach themselves anything.  Sure there are many who can't but the desire and opportunity to better yourself are what have made this country what it is today.

Answer 8

I am not in favor of home schooling, and here is why:

WHO is teaching you?  

Is it someone who earned a Masters or PhD in their field of study?  If so, in order to match a public school education, the average parent who home schools would need a minimum of FIVE Masters degrees, English, Mathematics, Social Studies/History, Science and some form of Arts.  Not to COMPUTERS, (which most people I've met over 40 are clueless about.)  There is also athletics/physical fitness to consider.

You will not be exposed to the social milieu of a High School environment, which while certainly not crucial, does give the typical person an advantage in social situations.  Most home schooled children I've met have an "odd" approach to group dynamics.

Can you learn on your own?  Of course.  Will it be a good education?  The odds are against you.  If you are very bright and have an above average I.Q., you might be able to grasp the majority of things on your own with enough diligence.  But eventually you will get stuck, and then what?  Part of the benefit of a learning institution, be it a grade/middle/high school or a university, is that there are people there who know MORE than you, and who have already tackled the problems.  Being able to consult with experts is invaluable.  Why would you want to deny yourself this?  There is no virtue in reinventing the wheel just to say, "look what I did all by myself."  Nobody cares about someone inventing the wheel again.  Teaching oneself is EXTREMELY TIME CONSUMING.  I know.  I taught myself at least half the things I know, and I can't tell you how many times I wish I had a teacher who would have just shown me what I was doing wrong.

Another tremendous thing you will not get from home schooling is the WISDOM of a career educator.  There is an art to teaching, just as there is an art to welding, or cooking, or almost any career.  Some of what professional teachers do can not be learned in a book.  It comes via the experience of dealing with hundreds of young minds over the course of many years.  Their unique style "rubs off" on the students.  Most students will say they had one or two teachers who either changed their lives, or who they'll never forget.  The best teachers have a gift in the way they can impart knowledge, and they do it in ways that a textbook, or even a parent, can not.  You will miss out on this experience.

I give you credit for wanting to "do it yourself", but choosing homeschooling simply for that reason alone is tantamount to cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Answer 9

First, it is NOT at all nearly impossible, I think it's good you asked because since we all aren't in your situation we can come from an unbiased/unemotional standpoint...

First, to say any group of people (ALL American, ALL Chinese, ALL anyone) is ignorant to say the least. There is MUCH poverty in America, and those who are not impoverished have a lot of the times, worked EXTREMELY hard to get to where they are... Simply say that there are extremely lazy people in every nation, from all walks of life, and that quite frankly, that argument doesn't even hold water.

Secondly, they cannot speak for you and your abilities. I would tell them that if they were really my friends, they would support me in my education, not tear me down before even beginning. And this whole idea that we need to "seize knowledge from a qualified teacher who understands the material" is ridiculous... the average homeschooler, in terms of grades, is on par with the honor role public schooler... that is the rule, but there are exceptions. Teachers are NOT always the most qualified to teach. They can not help their students on an individual basis-which is sooo important for the class on an individual level to learn properly. Teachers cannot structure lessons to each child, according to his/her own needs-again, as an individual... that is why homeschooling is so vital. It gives children the oppotunity to learn at their pace, at their level, and according to what WORKS for them and not just some district standard that the government decides is best-which it is NOT best in any way/shape/form...

Answer 10

Yeah, that's one of those rhetoric driven arguments that does not have logic behind it. Next time they bring it up, ask them for proof. Ask for numbers. Ask for research. If they aren't too lazy to find it rather than just depend on 'popular opinion'.

What's lazy is being spoon-fed information, actually. Depending on an entire system of predesigned information based on preconceived notions of 'facts'. Granted some things *are* fact, but so much is opinion. There are several studies showing that people who homeschool are a lot more motivated, more politically involved. I, of course, don't really have the links, lol! ;-)

Answer 11

You don't argue the point.  You just have to realize that if they treat you this way, they aren't your real friends.  You have value.  You deserve to be treated with respect.  I would tell them, "I feel hurt because I feel you don't respect me."  Tell them " You are my best friends and I love you.  Please respect my decisions and love me for who I am."

And if they don't, then you didn't loose anything when they turned on you.

I'm sorry you are hurt.  But you don't have to validate your choice in order to be accepted. You are worth more that that.

Answer 12

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