How would you deal with a boyfriend who has a lot of female friends?

Question

I’m in a relationship with a guy who has a lot of friends, but they are 98% female friends who seem to think it is OK to hug and hang all over him even when I am around. I can’t get him to understand why this hurts and frustrates me. He even goes out on the weekend with these friends and is always talking to them on the phone. Another hard thing is that when he comes home after going out he becomes really affectionate with me, and always in the back of my mind I think is he acting this way because he feels guilty about something. Am I overreacting? And how should I confront this issue?

Answer 1

You have every right in the world to over react.  I had a boyfriend that was just the same he had loads of girl friends and i com-fronted him over it as it was things didn't change so i ended it, nasty shock for him lol   if he doesn't respond to a chat then its most likely not the one for you and you should find someone thet is sensitive to your needs as well as his

Answer 2

Try to avoid such type of persons  beware of him

Answer 3

I think it's perfectly fine to be cautious.

Make him look your way. ;]

He's your boyfriend, not theirs.

You have ways because none of those girls can strike his attention better than you.  

Answer 4

I think you need to have a greater commitment than girlfriend before you can start making requests about who his friends are.  At the same time, he also needs to respect your feelings and be less affectionate with them.  I would also point out that guys think differently than girls, he could very likely be acting overly affectionate when he gets back because he knows how much the way these girls act around bothers you and he is trying to make it up to you in the way that would make him feel better if it were him.  If he is coming home and immediately being affectionate with you, chances are that you were in the back of his mind while he was gone and that he was saving the extra special part for you.  Guys tend to grow more distant and less physical when they're hiding something, contrary to what some women believe.  Hope this helps.

Answer 5

you can't/shouldn't try and change him, just go find some-one more suited to you.

Answer 6

No you are not overreacting. Your instincts are probably right. It is kinda weird for a man to have all female friends and to “go out” with them on weekends. Neither is it normal to have these women calling your boyfriend all the time. Your bf is either g*y, or he is cheating on you. It is time to have a talk with him and get some answers.

Answer 7

I don't think you're overreacting. I think you have every right to feel this way as I would too. If you've sat down with him and explained your emotions and he still doesn't get it I think you need someone that will care for you alot more. You could try hanging with guys alot too, flirting but not for real and we'll see how he feels. Chances are he'll get jealous, if not he really doesn't care about you.

Answer 8

Guys with that many female friends are usually cheating or either g*y. They either hang out with that many females because they want one thing from them or because they relate to and understand females better than males which means that they are g*y. Either way you should dump him basically.

Answer 9

imma be honest this has happened to me too...but i would investigate cuz  i think its very wrong i dont mind a few but when 98% are females...(shakes head) nope! aint gonna happen. i rather be safe and dont get hurt than be sry and be hurting bad.....

Answer 10

Dump Him!! been there, done that... never works out well

Answer 11

ooo id say follow your gut instinct here. i am happily married and altho my man doenst have a ton of girl friends...he has a few and i have guy friends. we hug when we see each other...but there is a difference in hanging all over someone (ahem...maybe trying to make you jealous?) and a simple hug hello. and just cuz the girls are like that doenst mean he is a cheater...but beware hunny...hes a MAN and lets face it...they can be pretty dumb. id have a very serious talk with him about it. only you can decide what to do. good luck to you

Answer 12

You either trust him, or you don't. He either respects your opinions and wishes, or he doesn't. If you have explained yourself to him and he has in no way offered you any peace, then you should possibly think about what needs to be changed. If you need to change your approach or if he needs to change his. You both need to find a compromise that you can live with, or you need to go separate ways.

You can't expect him to just throw away his friends, but he can change how he interacts with them to give you some peace of mind. He can't expect you to be alright with these behaviors, but you can show him that you do trust him as well.

Answer 13

i would deal w/ it by not dating this guy,. that just sounds annoying--i mean the fact that he has lots of female friends--that doesnt have to be bad---but that he goes out w/ them w/out you and then comes home and wants to make out--thats creepy. sounds like a lame dude, sorry.  

Answer 14

over reacting is always good..   men with all those female friends... definitely something to worry about

Answer 15

i would tell u to keep an eye on him and dont let him loose and if u see some of the girls flirting touching and hugging him u can be like my sister and be mean very mean