How would you deal with a guy who doesn’t know what he wants?

Question

I have been dating a great guy, and we are perfect together, the problem is lately he says he doesn’t know what he wants. We get along great, and he admits he doesn’t really have any complaints. In the beginning of our relationship, I was a little reluctant to get involved because I’d been a bad relationship in the past. He has too and convinced me to give it a shot. A few weeks later he found out his mom has terminal cancer which is something I’ve dealt with having lost my own mom to cancer 2 years ago. Recently an ex girlfriend who really hurt him in the past and called to make sure he was okay. A couple weeks later he started acting a little distant and finally said he’s not sure what he wants. He doesn’t want to end the relationship completely, but he feels we may be best friends more than anything else. He says he is afraid of hurting me and is very stressed out about his mom. I told him I understood, but I wasn’t ready to through in the towel. He assured me he really likes me, but is confused about what he wants with any girl. He wants to give it time to see how it goes. I haven’t felt like this for somebody in years and feel he might be comparing me to his ex (who he dated for two years). How do I get him to let his guard down and realize it takes time to develop feelings instead of rushing it? Do you think it’s worth sticking around?

Answer 1

You seem to have analyzed the situation pretty well. perhaps even too well. He obviously has things on his mind. It doesn’t seem like he wants to end the relationship with you, however it seems like it went from something really good to just lukewarm. His mother can’t be the only reason, but could have a lot to do with it. Bottom line is at the moment he doesn’t want to commit to you. I don’t think he’s comparing you to his ex. I think you need to be patient and look for opportunities to be with him and have the relationship evolve or not. Only you know if it’s worth sticking around.

Answer 2

Yes. You need to be there for him while he's dealing with his mom.