How would you deal with a young lady that seems to take life too seriously

Question

They don't joke around, are anxious, and sensitive. They listen to you, but rarely tell you anything about themselves. They're really uptight & quiet and don't seem to have any fun.

Answer 1

lol. Sometimes I act like that because I just don't want to let my gaurd down. I'm actually very funny and social once you get to know me. I just feel like if I act easy going then they won't respect me. I always listen first, then i will talk, but only if you ask me. Then as we get to know each other i will act different. Maybe thats the way she feels. I just feel like if i'm my nice self, they will think that its okay to try to date me right away. Most guys just meet me and want to ask for my number right away, i'm not trying to play hard to get, but most guys now-a-days think every girl is easy. (atleast the ones ive met) Just show her your true self, and dont let her catch you in any lies, she just deosnt want to let her guard down, what if she falls for you? Maybe she is just trying to avoid that? My only advice is just be yourself, she will like you regardless and begin to act differently w/ you.  

Answer 2

She's young. If you are older, which it sounds you are, try to offer some kindly wisdom that you only get with more life experience. Say something inspiring and insightful. She might appreciate it.  

Answer 3

tell her to lighten up about life, no one gets out alive anyways!

Answer 4

Maybe you don't know them well enough for them to show you their true personality.

Answer 5

Perhaps that's just their personality type. I know several people who are very quiet and don't joke around in conversation. I can be that way myself if I'm in a new group or somewhere where I'm not known well and I'm not sure how to express myself for fear of how the group will react.

I'm thinking they're just uncomfortable in their situation and they don't quite know how to act.

Where are they when they act this way? School? Church? Home? You don't say how you know this girl(s) and what you've done to help them acclimate. Also, could it be a cultural thing? Do they come from a place where women aren't seen as equals to men, and might be afraid to speak up or engage themselves in conversation?

Whatever you do, don't call them out and tell them to "lighten up" or "relax". Whenever someone says that to me, it has the opposite effect because I'm suddenly thrust into the spotlight by being told to "relax" in front of the entire group.

Just be there for them, calmly engage them in conversation and ask lots of questions (general, nothing too personal) to get them to open up.

Answer 6

b there for them...they might have had something really horrible happen to them when they were younger or that cud just b there personality and ther sence of fun is diff than urs