How would you feel if.......?

Question

Well, to cut a long long story short, My dad disowned me and my brother when i was 8, he was 13...With no real explanation, A few years later i got back in touch, We kept in touch for ages, I saw him every other Sunday, but he still messed us around loads, sometimes not turning up etc. Then when i was 17 i moved into his & his wife’s as I had problems with my mum (Arguing all the time, Mainly about my dad) I got a boyfriend older than me and he hated it, He kicked me out and refused to have anything to do with me, despite me trying (going down with xmas prezzies etc.) In the end I gave up, He obviously didn’t want anything to do with me, and was using my (now ex) boyfriend as a excuse. He also stopped talking to my older brother at the same time even though he had nothing to do with my boyfriend( so it was obviously a excuse) My dad also had a son before he married my mum and also stopped seeing him. He has always messed us around and never gave my mum any money for us.

Answer 1

I would give it one more try, if he still acts like a selfish pig, forget about him, you obviously dont need for someone who's soppossed to love you unconditionally to treat you and his granddaugter with no love and respect. I think you guys would be better off without him, cos who's to say that even if he did let you back into his life and got to know your daughter that he wouldnt go and do the same selfish thing again, and then it's not only you who's hurt it's your daughter too. Tough decision, but if it was me personally, i'd let him come to me and i wouldnt hold my breath waiting!

Answer 2

that sounds really harsh on his part.... honestly i dont think you should bother, i mean if he put you through all of that when you were growing up whats not to say he'll do it again?? i think you should move on and start an awesome career or somthin and make somthin big of yourself and then when he finds out how well your doing maybe he'll feel bad for not being there and being such a d**k to you when you were growing up....

good luck

Answer 3

Let it go, you can't force him to be a part of your life. In the end you have your own family now and need to look out for the best interests of your child. It is his loss, it is not worth the emotional trauma.

Answer 4

Your dad is a person who do not like responsibilities that is why he use to disappear ,he does not like children and he certainly will do the same to this woman who he married, he is happy now  that he is going to have a baby, but when it get biger, he do the same, your dad likes to be free

Answer 5

I do agree with the other answers - try to forget your Dad and move on but at the end of the day he is still your Father.  I suspect that it is because of this that you want him in your life, othewise you'd have given up long ago.

You obviously have a lot of unresolved issues with your Dad and I suggest that you write him a letter.  You can take your time when writing it and your Dad can read it countless times.  You never know, he might just realize what he's done to you, apologize and start anew.  Then again he may not but at least you would have put all your cards on the table.

If you write the letter though be sure to set the right tone; not too attacking otherwise you'll not get a response.  Plan what you want to say, things that have hurt you, where his actions were inconsiderate, what you want etc.  You might want to spell it out to him at the end of the letter i.e contact or no contact; and your ideals of what these would mean.

If your letter doesn't resolve the alienation with your Dad; at least it would have given you the chance to voice all of the unsaid things.  You'll then feel more content and be able to move on without thinking what if..



I do wish you all the best and I do hope your Dad does the right thing for you and your Brothers.