How would you feel if your 17 year old daughter came to you and told you she wasn't a virgin anymore?

Question

Would you be angry? Would you be happy she opend up to you? Would you be disappointed? She is almost an adult.

Answer 1

No I would not be angry, maybe a little dissapointed, but all in all, just glad she was able to talk to me like an adult.  That is truly all we ask of our kids, to be honest to yourself as well as others.

Answer 2

I would first wonder why she felt it necessary to volunteer this information.  Other than that, so what?  My policy was that at 16, my daughter's body was hers to do with as she saw fit, as long as she also accepted responsibility for any consequences.

Answer 3

I'd be happy she was open with me, and told me. I'd hope it was someone special she was with. I'd be a little disappointed if it was just some random fling. Of course I'd prefer she be in a good stable relationship first, but 17 isn't a bad age considering when some are loosing it. I'd simply see if she wanted/needed some birth control, if she was going to stay active. That'd be my biggest concern is saftey/protection. I'm not a fan of the whole "wait until marriage" thing. I don't see that as realistic, or a good thing to do a lot of times. It's like a pair of pants, how do you know they fit and you like them without trying them on first. I'd hate to be stuck in a marriage with a partner that sucked in bed! That'd be miserable.

Answer 4

I would be very happy that she opened up to me and thrilled that she trusted me enough to do so. I would not be angry in anyway. Disappointed?? Only if she was being promiscuous or not protecting herself.

Answer 5

I would look her right in the eye and tell her I am VERY, VERY, VERY dissapointed in you.  We taught you right from wrong, we taught you morals and values.  You made a stupid decision and I could not be more dissapointed in you.  Did you not learn ANYTHING from your upbringing?  What part of immorality didn't you understand?  That is something that you can never get back.  Never.  You gave away the one thing that no one can take from you.  

And that's what I would say.  :)

Wow, excuse me for not wanting my daughters to be little s***s like half the teenage girls out there.  All s*x before marriage brings is hurt.  Emotional hurt when the guy dumps you, the risk of teenage and unplanned pregnancy, the risk of STD's.  Come on people.  And people wonder why there are so many teen pregnancies out there - BECAUSE ANY MORE IT SEEMS LIKE THE PARENTS ENCOURAGE AND CONDONE IT!  It's sick and ridiculous.

Answer 6

Wow Missyme you are really closed minded and are going to push your children away from you if you keep up that attitude. You also changed your answer from kicking the daughter out (which was in your original answer, something about being old enough to do that, you are old enough to take care of yourself) how compassionate is that really?  Again, I state, you are not setting your daughters up for open communication with you, so you will NEVER be able to know exactly what they are doing (they WILL hide things from you...because you are telling them that if you are disappointed in them you will kick them out etc.).

I personally would not be angry, but would be happy that she was able to come to us and talk to us about it.  I think her dad might want to beat the guy up, but we want to raise children who are comfortable with coming to us with anything and everything.

Answer 7

well im 17, but as long as she doesn't have an std or isnt pregnant i wouldnt care because she's almost an adult and well we are humans....

give me a thumbs down but im telling the truth :p

Answer 8

I wouldn't be angry because well she would know about what s*x is way before she is 17 so she'll at least know how to be safe. I would be proud of her for being able to trust that we wouldn't get mad and that she can come to us with anything. So, she's not a virgin anymore big deal you just go over what you've already taught her and make sure she stays safe. Remind her as well that babies are time consuming, they cost money, and if she has dreams they may have to be put on hold until she's much older.

Answer 9

I would be VERY disapointed

I would be glad that she told me, but i'd be diapointed.

If she used protection, i'd be less disapointed, but still.....

I would be angry a little bit too

Answer 10

i'm still a virgin and i am almost 17 will be on 23rd i don't know how that would make me feel but at least wait until the age of when your parents did it (if it was my child)

Answer 11

till today here in india its will be big thing, i dont know there how you people will  react . first of all she has done any mistake or some one does forcefully . than we can take any actione againest him but what she does she does it with her own than ..... what we can do? the thing happened already but we can explain her very  patiently to her for her future be alert.

now a  days things changed  we cant scold child like our parents done with us . we can only show them the way what should be best for them we cant force full put on that way.

17 years gls do not understand the world enough .we have keep calm and just tell her time to time .

Answer 12

I think that I would be all of those things. I would be glad that she felt she could share her personal life with me. However I would be upset and disappointed that she decided to engage in intercourse before she really is emotionally ready to handle it.

Answer 13

I'd be sad on one hand.  But I'd also be enormously thankful that my daughter felt able to talk to me about it.

Answer 14

I would be disappointed but I would not be angry but I would be grateful she felt comfortable enough to come to me and talk to me about it. I would also discuss the importance of protection and would ask her to be safe.

Answer 15

Be happy that she opened up and talked about it. Don't feel disappointed as in the end, as long as she was of age and it was consented, she's of the age to decide (at least, where I am it is 16). However coming up and saying that she has may mean that there is an underlying issue she may want to discuss, so I would sit down and try and have a rational and serious conversation about s*x, however difficult that may be for some mothers and daughters.