How would you feel if your parents lied to you for 17 yrs?

Question

my parents lied to me for 17 yrs. apparently my mom died when I was born, and the person I thought was my mom is my step mom. my dad is my real dad. but they never told me who my real mom was. what would you do if your parents never told you that?

Answer 1

first of all, why did they 'lie' to you?  perhaps your parents thought that it would be better for you to not know the truth, because now that you do, you are filled with resentment, a lot of grief, and always wondering 'what if' aren't you?  and just because the woman you call 'mom' did not give birth to you, it does not make her any less your mother as she is the one who raised you and cared for you.  you've got to figure out the facts; what was the reason your biological mother passed away?  why did your father marry your stepmother and allow you to believe she was your natural mother?  perhaps they had tried to tell you in the past, and things just didn't work out that way.  i honestly do not know what i would do if i was in your shoes.  people can always throw out things to say, like i'd be so mad or i'd never talk to them again, but until they actually experience it, they can't know for sure.  i know you weren't really asking for advice, but i kinda needed to go there to answer the question.  good luck with everything.

Answer 2

I'd be pissed. But at the same time your step mom is like a mom because she raised you from birth or from a young age.

Answer 3

i'd be mad but i wud get ova it

ur step mom is lyk ur mom cuz she raised u

Answer 4

i wouldn't be mad. I would tell my step mom that i was glad she stepped up to the plate to help take care of me. Don't be mad at them, they wanted to tell you at a time when they knew you could handle it. That is why you didn't know sooner.

Just take everything step by step.

and be glad you have a step mom, when

most children do not.

Answer 5

who has raised you and been your mother your whole life? who's the only mom you know?

i can understand why you're a little upset and by all means you should find out what she was like and everything.

i'd be shocked but it wouldn't change how i felt about the woman who raised me. she is your mom.

Answer 6

your step mom is your mom..She raised you there for she is your mom..its kinda like the whole dad thing..Yeah it would make me mad but doesnt mean i would feel any diffrently towards my parents.

Answer 7

i am in the same situation but from the other end.  

the man that my daughter knew as her father is NOT her birth father..  

Her birth father wanted nothing to do with her.. She is now 18 and I have never told her this and do not know how..  

We had planned on telling her, her 'father' and me, but as the years went on we didnt and then he passed away and I do not know how to do it myself..

Try and understand this is not like your birth mother didnot want to have anything to do with you, she passed away and the woman you know as mom is really your mom too..

Answer 8

i would be p*ssed and hate my parents but then again i would try not to show it because i wouldnt want to hurt my step moms feelings because even though shes not your biological mom she raised you as her own, and also i would talk to my dad to get the full story, but man that really sucks and i hope you can work things out and find out from your dad the reason he didnt tell you

Answer 9

be like "whoa"

be kinda mad for a while

then id get over it

(:

Answer 10

Well look at it this way-- what where the reasons they hid it from you? And maybe they wanted to tell you when you got older but then they saw you and your step mom were gettin along really good and didn't want the relationship to be different? I also understand its wrong because you have the right to know that and shouldn't have been hid from you. Talk about that with your dad and step mom and tell them how you feel.

-sorry to hear that.

Answer 11

ask them why didnt they tell you until now. dont b mad at them. im sure they did what they thought was best to protect you...

Answer 12

well thats hard to answer, but look at it this way you never knew your real mom you grew up with this person that helped you when you needed it, was there for you when you where sick and scared, helped you at the first days of school and loved you all the time, she made sure you where healthy and fit, that is what a mother does so even if she isnt your real mother she was a mother to you and you know that, it is kinda sad that they did that but it is not your fault, and they might have had a good reason for doing it so you cant really judge them for that, i would just be like woah and take it all in then maybe go get some help or talk to some friends about it then go home and talk to your parents, but dont get mad they did what they thought was right and thats what counts, they both love you and there are alot of kids out there that dont even have that.

Answer 13

Id be mad that they didnt tell me

And then id be upset because i never knew my biological mother

But id be thankful for my stepmum looking after me for so long raising me as her own

Answer 14

I would run away.

Answer 15

I would need concelling if that happened to me...