How would you feel/what would you do?

Question

My mother in law to be is kindof scary -- always b****ing at me for something or another, and she's a complete baby hog when it comes to my stepson to be. it seems like she can't stand it if he pays me any attention. I watch him during the day while his dads at work and the second she gets home she tries to take him out or away from me. Anyway - I'm about 6 weeks preggo. Have only told my fiance and a friend. I'm scared to tell my MIL to be. Also I'm really afraid that I'll get treated the way I do now around my own child. Now keep in mind i've been around this child since he was several months old and he's now a few months past 2. He calls me "mama" i never told him to -- but thats obviously how he feels and his father doesnt have a prob with it either. Well in front of the baby lately she'll refer to me as "she, her, or by my first name". What should I say or do if she persists with this stuff once i have my child? thanks :)

Answer 1

You need to speak your mind now or its only going to get worse when your baby comes (congrats by the way!!). I know its hard but its better to get it out in the open now, that way she has time to get over it by the time the new baby comes. Have you talked to your fiance about it? What does he think?

Answer 2

Thats too bad.  You would think she would be supportive of you stepping in and being a mother figure for her grandchild.  Have you had a sit down talk with your fiance?  Ask him to break the ice with you to her, try and be cute about it and say, your going to be a grandma again.  Inlaws aren't always easy.. Just remember this.. She doesn't live with you and she will go home.  You shouldn't be disrespected in your home either.  Your going to be a mom so you need to keep your cool, just tell her your trying to be a big happy family.  All you can do is try.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

No longer let her intimidate you.  When your child to be gets older and notices that you take the mil's baloney, she will think you are spineless and lose respect for you as her mom.  So,  first,  in a respectful tone, tell her to kindly stop rushing your stepdaughter out the door and to refer to you as "your Highness".  If and when she gets mad, put all passiveness aside and tell her to back the f*** up and slam her backside with a 2 by 4!  I don't know the lady and already i don't like her.  Does you fiance stand up for you? What does he think?  Drop his butt as well if he argues the point.  Later on sue him for child support.  But I bet he is on your side.  I hope so.

Answer 4

my mil is a b**** too. everytime i had a problem with her id tell my husband. so he went to his mom and talked to her. it worked for a lil while but then a bid problem happened and she really disrespected me so i had to take a stand and tell her like it is. now we moved away and dont talk to my in laws. and until they apologize they dont get see our son. bottom line is you need to stand up to her for your right as a parent. and dont let her disrespect you.

Answer 5

That's annoying. I have a sister in law that does this, because she thinks she's better than me or something. My husbands ex wife passed away while giving birth to my step daughter, and although my husband and I try to remind our daughter about her birth mother, there's no way she can fully understand this at 2 years old. I had my husband talk to her about it, and she finally just gave in. Have your husband talk to her, and have him let her know that since you two don't have a problem what what your stepson calls you, then she shouldn't either. Because really, it's none of her business.

Or you could just do what the guy in Knocked Up did to Deb when she tried to go into the delivery room. I really felt like saying that to my SIL.

Answer 6

You need to say something to her.  That is not right.  She is controlling and needs her boundaries.  It is best for you, the stepson, and the baby to be.  As hard as it is you have to sit her down and explain her boundaries and your expectations.

Answer 7

Simply don't let her be a baby hog with your child.  Your baby, your rules.  Stand up for yourself, and if she tries to overstep her bounds, show her the door.  

The only thing I can see her having a problem with is the whole "Mama" issue.  Is the child's mother involved?  If so, it's really not appropriate for the boy to call you Mama; it might confuse him.  Wait until you're married and have adopted him before he starts calling you Mama.