How would you handle being uninvited to a friends wedding?

Question

My husband and I used to work for a restaurant we both worked in the kitchen. I was there for three years he was there for two years we became friends with the people there I mean good friends(christian, Jessica,Mark).Mark and christian are brothers. Mark runs the kitchen and jessica and christian run the front of the house(restaurant) well christian proposed to jess. I was so very excited, I had just gotten married I love to watch my friends get married.My husband and I had gotten pregnant some time after that and I could no longer work in the kitchen( I had two jobs)So I left and about a year later my husband left(we had moved closer to family so they can help with the baby) on good terms(or so we thought). We would go and visit them every so many weeks and bring the baby after she was born, no problems everyone was friendly. Then last month I had gotten an invite to her shower okay I'll go so I told her I will be showing up but I'd have to bring the baby she was fine with it. but when the day came around my daughter had gotten sick and it was brutally hot out so I didn't think it was a good idea to bring her out in it.(1hour away). She was fine with that I told her we'd come down another time and we did we told them when and what time, we showed up and they had left and said they weren't going to come back. okay fine whatever it's life no one is ever happy all the time. So 13 days before the wedding she has her mother call my cell phone mind you they never call my cell phone they call my husbands cell. Her mother had left me a message and said with further discussion they feel they need to uninvite us to the wedding and she said I'm sure you understand(WTF understand what) she said there is no need to call and talk to anyone and if you do show up at the wedding we will have you kicked out.I know I know who cares they aren't good friends very much anyway. I mean This family is the kind you would have to keep telling yourself "keep you friends close and your enemies closer." I don't go out a whole lot never really did it bothered my husband so I decided I would make friends with them and we were friends but outside the relationship I could have just bashed her head into the wall. I don't know what it really is that upsets me alot about this whole thing. But I know when I was telling my husband he said well I just talked to mark and he said if I could work for him so he can go to the wedding(mind you he doesn't work there anymore) that it would be great........ yet his wife isn't allowed to go at all.I want to be the bigger person so bad and I'm such a soft hearted person when people come to be cold hearted and just rude it really hurts me to think that poeple can be like that. I just need to here what people have to say about this. ask any question I will answer them.My husband feels like being the bigger person is being their b*tch and helpign them out. He doesn't want to hurt me though so we still have seom talking to do abotu it. I do I just say whatever forget them it's not worth it adn forget about it all. I'm to sensitive and hurt by it to forget and not let it bother me.Help. Words of Wisdom please. Oh and anyone who is like this girl and her family explain to me what they are thinking.

Answer 1

Aw, sorry to hear this. I can't say what the girl and her family were thinking because, i'm puzzled myself. But time will heal this. In the mean time why don't you go out with your husband on the day of their wedding and forget all about them, they aren't worth your time. Or you could still try and call, even if her mother said not to, and ask her what the problem is and TRY to sort things out. But by the way your saying this, she probably won't give you an illegible answer. So go have fun with your husband!

lol, if i could, i would invite you when i get married :]

Answer 2

I don't blame you for having hurt feelings or being upset.  But there is a positive side to this that you have to grab hold of.  From the information you have given in your post, you did nothing wrong - and you know that, so hang on to that.  The positive side is these people have shown their true colours and that is to your benefit.  You do not want or need people like this in your life.  So just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and put this behind you - and be happy you were uninvited, they did you a favour.  It is a lesson learned about people; about friends who aren't really friends.  So do not feel bad about any of this; it's on them, not you.  By being upset you are giving these people power over you; take your power back and move on by not allowing yourself to be hurt or upset.  A little healthy anger may be called for, blow off a little steam and get your feelings off your chest; and then just be glad that you know the truth about this people.  It's really their loss, you know; you should like a pretty decent, caring person.  Take Care.

PS

I often write things down to get things off my chest - it's therapeutic!  So don't apologize for a long post, I just hope you feel better now that you have written it down and vented a little bit.  Writing things down and then reading it over a few times also gives you a different perspective about the whole thing.  So vent all you want, that's the healthy way of ridding yourself of these bad feelings and dealing with things, instead of letting them fester inside you.

Edit:  I think Rebel Angle has a great idea.  On the day of the wedding, you and your husband should go out, have a little celebration of your own and have fun!

Answer 3

OMG! I would talk to your friends asap. Because her mother was the one who called you. Something sounds fishy.