How would you handle the child if he / she is making undue demands ?

Question

How would you handle the child if he / she is making undue demands ?

Answer 1

Be firm but gentle.  Use a positive approach.

Answer 2

I think you need to add details to your question...

You would handle a 16 year old differently than a 4 year old.

What constitutes "undue demands"

Do they want orange juice in their cereal rather than milk, or do they want you to buy them a horse and they aren't going to eat until they get it.

Are the "demands" going to harm them?

If the child is a younger child, I would have a talk and let them know that they are being "unreasonable... greedy... rude" Whichever fits. Then you need to explain why what they want is or isn't ok.

If the child is older, I am a firm believer in letting them make mistakes, but then letting them get themselves out of it.

I have done this with my daughter and she is a responsible 16 year old who is ready for the real world.

Answer 3

Learn to say NO.  Learn to compromise on certain things.  Don't give in all the time.  Sorry, time out/spanking/punishment/taking away privledges.

Answer 4

with love and patience

Answer 5

If they are undue demands then the answer is no.  But pick the challenges, arguements and fights etc, Children need to have some control of their own life.  They need to be able to learn to make choices.  You can help them by praising good choices and helping them dicuss bad choices and inappropriate behaviour.  It is your job as the parent to explain boundaries and social norms.  Good luck!

Answer 6

Tell him who's boss you are the parent.

Answer 7

You are the parent.  You have to set limits and boundaries.

Answer 8

Since this is in the preschool area, I'm going to assume the child is quite young - younger than age 8? Many young children become demanding because they're seeking power. They are told what to do, what to wear, where to go, when to eat, how to behave - they rarely get choices. While I wouldn't suggest blindly giving in to demands, I would give your child more (appropriate) choices. Let him/her choose what to wear each day (or choose between two outfits). Let them choose the order of activities or what to have for dinner that week. Play role playing games (if they're old enough) where they get to be a teacher, a parent, or a boss and see how they react to the power. Letting kids feel powerful and important is a great way to get them to listen when you DO tell them what to do. When they have many choices and there is only one thing you outlaw, they are more likely to respect that decision than if you never give an inch.

I would also talk to the child about why they want what they are demanding. Or, if that doesn't lead anywhere, during the role playing games, ask why they are yelling/ordering you around (because that's what mommies do, because that's how you get people to listen, etc.). Listen carefully to the answers, and you might hear a clue to a better way to communicate.

Be open to change and offer your child choices. And remember that this testing, this push for power, is a normal stage of development. It will diminish with time, as long as you handle it appropriately. Don't refuse everything your child asks, and don't give in to everything. Have a little balance and it will all work out.

Answer 9

It's not considered politically correct today,but when I was a child

a good spanking could be very effective.

Answer 10

Promise to get some other thing, better than what he/she demands, and explain why this is not the right thing or right time for .....etc

Answer 11

I have the most hard-headed three year old that was ever born.  He told me he does things because he "wants what he wants".  I had to put an end to that, as life is not always about getting what you want, especially without reprocussions.  I simply give my son a choice between the thing I wish him to do and time-out.  He almost always chooses the thing I want him to do.  If this fails, I take away his favorite toy for the day.  If he does what I ask, I give it back at the end of the day. I don't know how old the child you are speaking of is, but you have to nip "undue demands" in the bud.  Always do so in a calm manner and express distaste for the child's behaviour, not the child.  Punish the behavior, not the child.  I am living much more harmoniously with my three year old since I stopped negotiating.  I am now truly the parent.  You can do the same through consistency.  It didn't happen overnight for me.  It took many months of sticking to my guns about the rules, even if my son's reactions were awful at first.  There were some pretty nasty little temper tantrums and public displays that really embarassed me, but I got over being embarassed.  He gets it now, and I did it without screaming... I am firm and the key is, you have to believe in what you are saying to your child... don't renig on a punishment.  I tell my son that he made a choice and every choice has a consequence, good or bad.  You also have to ask yourself the question, why is your child making these demands?  Do you allow it by giving in? Is your child feeling neglected? Is your child just simply hard headed like mine and will take every opportunity to test you.  I used to label my child "difficult", but as he gets older, I see that since day one, he has always known what he has wanted.  It is my job to channel that in a positive way.

Answer 12

Just Say a version of this:  "That isn't possible right now (you can add a short because... if you wish) and your only choice is to say yes ma'm/sir.  This is not negotiable."  If the situation allows, you can tell them some choices of what they CAN do so they don't feel too frustrated.  

If they have a fit you can either ignore them, or tell them that they can be in their room/time out/etc. until either A) the fit is over or B) the time-out timer goes off (your choice).

A mistake a lot of parents do now is over talking things with their kids to calm them down.  It actually reinforces negative behavior because the time you spend with them discussing it is actually seen as a positive by kids and effectively rewards them for the inappropriate behavior.

The time to discuss with them, should you choose to, is AFTER they have settled down and are displaying appropriate behavior. Then you can further explain why it is an undue demand, but chances are they already know.    

You should also choose your battles with your child so they don't always feel thwarted in their desires.

Answer 13

Explain

Ingnore

Compromise with something else

Consistency

Answer 14

You are the adult and parent you have to be strict and set the boundaries and if they get out of line take away somehting they love like tv or computer or put them in timeout *absolute boredom gets to a kid*

Answer 15

Depends onthe age. Keepthe child focused on activities that will keep her busy,

Answer 16

some children make some undue demands bcaz we give them any thing they wanted in thier early age of 1 - 3 thinking they are child that's make them think their demands always fulfill by our parents, or by grand parents. As they grow their life is expanding they are going to school they make friends, when they see new toys, food they demand to our parents they do not know what is wrong or right they want that thing at any cost. they cry, make shouting, throwing their toys, not eating food, they do any think in their best way to get that thing. if you fulfill their demand then they always do sort of think very often thinking that their parents will fulfill theirr demands. so frst of all you have to take patience. when your child wants some thing and you feel that is not good for them then firstly try to talk to him. tell him that think you are doing is not good for you but do not slap or hit them first they cry, then thay do not eat food or throw their toys any where in the room then sleep. if thins become littel worst just show your anger to them. do not worry if your child sleep with out food one time. i think this work for you. but follow your heart also. do not become hitlor to them nor become snow white.