How would you handle this situation

Question

I moved back to my parents house due to my job. I offered to pay rent. However, my dad said to pay the rent to him and not tell my mom. His reason was my mom isn't helping out compeletly with the bills and he has some things to pay off. They both work hard, my mom is not lazy, but at the same time she is a little irresponsible with money at times. My problem is I don't want her to think I'm here for a free ride. What should I do?

Answer 1

Moms are moms. they'll always try to help and support you, even if you were 60. Now, seems to me that it has a little bit more to do with you.  with your indepence and that it also has to do with the way things over there work.  your mom will definetly get pissed at your dad if you tell her about the rent thing, even if you didnt tell her and she found out.  Depends also on .... the way they work as a couple.  You are the only one that truly knows the outcome of the choices that you make...  Choose the one that is more honest and that'll do less damage in the long run.

GL

Answer 2

My husband is in the military, he left in Oct. I moved me and my two boys in with her, she didn't want to be alone. My mom is a shopaholic with a lot of bills. I knew If I would have paid rent to her hands she wouldn't use it for bills. In your case your mom may get upset by not telling her its going to your dad. Anyway instead I offered to pay the light bill and groceries. You canalwayss try something like that so your not exactly stuck in the middle of who gets the rent money.

Answer 3

if u r paying rent to ur dad, donot hide this fact from ur mom....maybe she is ignorant and careless because of that....better tell her the truth, so that even she feels that u r not a load for them...u earn & live....donot loose ur dignity

Answer 4

pay your dad, and buy your mom, dinner once a month :)

Answer 5

it seems to be very interesting to me at your story, for the place i live in, people needn't pay anything if living with their parents. and parents will be pretty happy if their sons or daughters live with them. and parents will do many things for free.  

Answer 6

you should tell your mom and all sit down together and talk about the money and rent situation.make some kind of agreement that the whole fam knows about

Answer 7

Leave it alone for now. If your mother didn't mention it, then it must not be an issue for her. I'm sure the subject came up at some point between her and your father, and it was likely resolved between them. Just keep paying your father for the time being. If your mother ever brings it up down the road, talk to your father about it and resolve the situation as a family.

Answer 8

You ought to be honest with your mom. I think you'd be a little uncomfortable, NOT TELLING her that your paying something for living there. But your giving it to dad......For her, you'd like to help out with things that need to be done around the house.

She would love the extra help. She sounds like a good person, and hard worker.

You could help her tremendously just by doing some little things. The money? She won't care that your giving it to your dad.

It would be your way of helping them both, and having a  place till you move out.

Your a good son....in a good family.  

Answer 9

maybe you should say your paying half of what you actually are and let your dad keep the rest...i had the same thing but in reverse...at the end of the day she is your  mum and i doubt she will be thinking anything bad of you...also if your helping out around the house and maybe buy the shopping now and again...its not as if they wouldnt have to pay the bills if you werent there....oh and like me stop worrying about what people think all the time.....take care

Answer 10

You shouldn't keep that from your mom, it will probably cause problems down that road