How would you handle this situation?

Question

Earlier today, my wife found a letter in the bathroom from a 13 year old girl to our 11 year old son. The letter read: "Can you come to my house, I want to see you. Remember that question you asked me? Well we can because my mom and dad wont be home until 12:00. So bring a condom"

Well when I read it, I was really stunned, I mean come on, hes 11 years old. I woke him up and questioned him about it, and he denied even reading the letter. I think I got ahead of myself, and pretty much told him he was lying. Now later on, after thinking it through, it might be possible that the girl handed him the letter as she was getting off the bus, and he stuck it in his pocket and forgot about it. He was very adamant about this. I really think I should have thought it through, and spoke wioth the girl and her parents, before making any accusations. But what would you do if you were in this situation. I wasnt prepared for this kind of thing, h**l we havent even had that talk yet.

Answer 1

I think you were right in asking your son first.  You can still talk to the girl and her parents though, show them the letter because I think they need to know if their daughter is contemplating having s*x.  That's a scary thought!

Answer 2

I probably would have done the same thing u did.  I fly off the handle.  I have two girls 11 and 14 and I would have totally freaked out if i read or heard anything involving $ex.  You need to bring that letter to that girls parents because she is a hoe in the making.  I am sure your son will forgive u for your outburst.  What I would ask him is "What is the question he asked her that pertained to the condom"  that is where i would start.  Its a shame that children grow up so soon.  i was still w/ my barbies at that age.  I wish u the best with this one.  Im glad im not in your shoes.  

Answer 3

HAVE THE TALK NOW!!

Afterwards, explain to him why you were so upset when you found the letter.  It doesn't really matter if he read the letter or not, it doesn't change the situation.  If you were woke up by your pissed off father demanding information, you would probably lie too.  I wouldn't blame him if he was lying.  

And as far as dealing with the author, contact her parents.  Don't discuss it with her at all.  It could be misconstruded and cause you a world of trouble.  She is her parents responsibility.  

And pay close attention to where your son is at all times, who is there, what they are doing and so forth.  Maybe find him a new activity to join.

BE INVOLVED IN HIS LIFE!!  positively!!

Answer 4

ok well im a 14 year old girl

soo i know a little about this note passing thing

so the girl could of passed it to him as a jk to see his reaction.

i dont exactly think a 13 year old and a 11 year old would do this at there age

just speak to her parents about it.

and have maybe the TALK with him :]

goodluck

Answer 5

better have THAT talk - with all of them.

I agree with what 'serious said.