How would you handle this situation!?

Question

I been dating my fiancee now for over 3 years now. I have a child and he does too from a previous marriage. He's been divorced for 4 years now. My child is 5 and his child is 7 years old. His child's mother sees their child everyone other weekend because he has full custody and she can only keep him on certain weeks and weekends. I have spent time and known his child ever since we first started dating, but his mother has caused a lot trouble for us. She got pregnant after the year they both got divorced from a one night stand with some guy she doesn't even known, and didn't even want to see her own child and didn't for more than a year, until recently that she started being in the child's life. Every time the child comes back from the mother's house he tells me "my mama hates you" and "mama says your a b**CH", and the father would only say to me "i'm sorry about what he says, its his mother,thats the way she is." But to me it's not ok for him to be using language like that and the father doesnt seem to be correcting or saying something about this matter. I really dont know where i stand on this.. any advice.. would be appreciate it! thanx

Answer 1

Whatever you do, and no matter how angry and displeased you get, don't ever use profanity/crude language or abusive methods to tell him its wrong.



Explain to him that everyone has different views on things and it is wrong for his mother to judge you like that.  But don't make her seem like the "bad guy" because then its going to be harder on him.

Best of luck :)

Answer 2

**I agree with you.  Your partner needs to be telling his son as soon as he swears or says something disrespectful to you that it is NOT ON and if he does it again that he'll be punished.

By not saying anything to him and just apologising to you he's not giving his son the message that what he's saying it not acceptable, instead letting him think that it's ok.**

Answer 3

If I were that child's father, aka your fiance, i would go to the court and demand that she be relieved of all custody of that child because she can't be a good role model. for crying out loud, look at what's wrong with society- we are nurturing our children on foul language and ill spirits. There is NO reason that your fiance should be allowing it, he should be scolding his ex-wife for raising his child so poorly!! and correcting his child for following her example. he already divorced her, why should he let her worst characteristics shine through in the child??

Answer 4

you should talk to him about punishing his child!