How would you have answered this question?

Question

I am a geriatric nurse, unemployed at this time by choice. I frequently visit nursing homes and take little bags of cookies or candy to the residents who rarely have visitors or little extra treats. The nurses at the desk can tell you who needs them the most. Today a very sad looking elderly gentleman looked up at me from his wheelchair with the saddest faded blue eyes and asked this question. "What do you do when you send out a prayer for help and no one answers?" I didn't know how to answer. I just hugged him and came home and cried because I was so inadequate and unable to give him a answer.

Answer 1

i have worked with both the elderly and young people, and offering that little bit extra to an elderly person assures them that angels are real and for that moment you were his. xxxx bless you DEB xxxx

Answer 2

Wow...we all have so many answers and opinions on so many questions, but these are the ones that tug on your heart, aren't they?

I have a cousin that was a Catholic priest with the Jesuits, who, when asked by the parents of a child that was killed by a freak accident, "why would God take our baby?" had no answer. He retreated to a remote cabin to do some heavy reflection and meditating. He ended up leaving the priesthood, and now teaches at a University.

If I'd been in your shoes, it would be tempting at first to give the answer, " well God does answer, but someimtes it's just not the answer we want". But, gee, seems like a trite answer, and not at all appropriate to an older soul, who's just looking for a little compassion.

You did the right thing, and hopefully the gentleman was able to feel your hug was the answer he recieved. If I were you & I saw him again, I'd probably make sure to bring him something special & keep those hugs going.  

Answer 3

I think you answered his prayer Ladybug, just by being there.

Answer 4

Maybe  she was the answer he was looking for. Perhaps he asked for comfort.

Answer 5

I would have said, "Sometimes answers come when we least expect them to, so I hope you'll keep waiting until you get that answer that you're waiting for, ok?"  Sadly, many people think they should receive an instant answer to their prayers & when they don't receive it, then they turn to others in the vicinity to aid them in their "plight".  

I'd say you did good.  Sometimes a hug or a smile is all a person needs from another when they are feeling so down about not getting their wish as they think they should have.  You can't save the world.  The man is on his way out...don't let him drag you down with him in an attempt to make him happy.  He'll find happiness when he's intended to find it...that MAY not be until after he has actually died, sad as that sounds.  Tell him to ask again & again & again.  I view death a bit different than most people do.  Good luck & I hope your had a good cry & can start fresh again tomorrow.

Answer 6

The faded blue eyes got to me, bet he is one of the "greatest generation" that kept us safe when we were children from enemys from the east and west [WW2]

Answer 7

Your hugging him and showing you cared probably answered his prayer without him knowing it. You sound like a caring person and I wish you well in your life.

Answer 8

Good for you for visiting those people, you have a good heart.  Your hug was probably the best advice you could have given him.  Just that human touch means so much.  I might have also told him that God works in mysterious ways and that no prayer goes unheard.  It may be worth mentioning to the nursing staff or administration what happened so that they can give him some extra attention.  He may be going into a state of depression.  

Answer 9

I would have answered by saying, Prayers are always heard and a gift is always delivered. The challenge is for the receiver to wait for them and be able to recognize when they come. But be careful, they might be in diff rentnt package than you had expected.

And don't feel bad that you weren't able to answer because my great grandmother is 83I'mim 16 and she ask me similar question alot of the time and while I usually can't answer them I know that shappreciateses mlisteningng because sometimes that all a person needs, just the satisfaction of knowing that there words didn't  fall on death ears. And I think that it's great what your doing for the seniors. The world needs more people like you.

peace nd love    

Answer 10

Wow!  That's tough!  I would have asked what he needed help with.  So I could see if there was any way that I could be the HELP that he'd prayed for.  If it was something that I couldn't do for him...what I would have said would depend entirely on what he was praying for.

God bless him!  You're an angel for doing that!  My grandkids and I should do that too!  It's a wonderful idea!  God bless you, too!

*hug*

Terrie

Answer 11

That is sad and i have worked in homes and heard that too. Next time it happens give him a hug and say well maybe i could answer one ..is there something you need?  good luck.

Answer 12

I am cryng.  I would have been on the floor I am sure.  Poor man.  My heart aches

Answer 13

that hug was the best u could have done ,it means more than any words.i understand the feeling of inadequacy , unfortunately none of us have a magic wand ,but the touch, the hug is  magic to the lonely  elderly persons, who so often are touch starved .keep up ur wonderful work ,it makes a huge difference to the lucky recipients.

Answer 14

I hug the residents all the time, yesterday one lady who has been there 22 years and is mentally retarded, was crying at lunch. I asked her what was wrong and she said her caretaker had died. The only living relative she had left, an 83 year old cousin was her caretaker. I just hugged her so tight and told her it would be alright, she has all of us, and she said I need you. I am going to see her today on my day off. And bring her a balloon and some candy. Hope I can be her angel.

Answer 15

You were the answer to his prayer. Just giving a hug, you were there to help. I always tell people that God hears their prayers and answers them in ways that they sometimes don't understand or see. I'd tell the nursing home staff that he's feeling depressed and I'm sure that they will make sure that he gets a little more attention. Obviously, there is something bothering him and he just wants some one to take the time to listen to his worries. Bless you for caring.

Answer 16

Ladybug, your answer and hug were exactly what he needed - you brought tears to my eyes - sorry - please go and see him again, and give him a hug from me too!    You did exactly the right thing - have a star - you are an angel.                    CJ      

Answer 17

You did the right thing.  

Answer 18

You did. He just needed that hug.

Answer 19

I would have asked him if I could help and if he said yes,

I would say then maybe it was God who sent  me.

But you don't think of these things in the spur of the moment.

Good question have a star.

Answer 20

Please go back to see him and tell him I am praying with him too in agreement for his prayer to be answered.

Answer 21

I agree with Rhumba - you did the right thing.  You can't know all the answers and you're doing a good thing by going out and spreading some love.

If you see him again, maybe you can spend some extra time with him and find out what makes him happy... and if he doesn't know/remember, maybe you can just hold his hand and sit with him for a while.

Answer 22

tell him that every thing takes time and h shuld wait

Answer 23

I would say that maybe the help is just taking some time.  Maybe the help will not be in the form that one would expect. Then I'd offer to help in any way that I could.  I think you did exactly the right thing.  Your hug might have been just the help that he needed.

Answer 24

I just teared up after reading this.   Maybe he realized after you left that you were the answer to his prayer.   Maybe it was your kindness and hug that allowed him to verbalize his plea.   Bless you.