How would you rate this as a poem for english?

Question

THE PANTHER

I stalk the night,

Plain out of sight,

All you see are my eyes

Before quick goodbyes

In a coat of black

you'll feel a quick wack

as i attack

your bones will crack.

i bite hard

with no disregard.

Our sharp claws,

leave you needing gauze

were a dying breed

even with our heightened speed

now all we need, is to be freed

the young are all hung

or trapt in cages

for the ages

never to be seen

how could this be so unforseen?

now you see, how it will be,

take a stand,

before you experience this first hand!

please tell me what you think or how i can improve tyty

Answer 1

Thats good I say an A+ nice imagination

Answer 2

It's good!

A bit...morbid...

But really good =]

Answer 3

Pre-school?

wack>whack

disregard> regard.

Were> we're

trapt>trapped

capitalize the i's

That will fix the spelling. It is pretty good. I like the pace.

It is kind of threathening what with whacking, biting, bones breaking  and needing gauze. But, if that is what you were going for, I guess it inspires respect for the predator. It might not inspire people to conserve the animals that attack them.

C. :)!!

Answer 4

The imagery is great! I'd say it'd earn a grade in the low-mid 90s, just because it needs to include more literary devices/elements.

Literary devices/elements:

Alliteration

Repition

Rhyme

Metaphor

Simile

Allusion

Setting

Personification

Onomatopoeia

Mood

Tone

Theme

Dialect

Dialogue

Extended Metaphor

Conflict

Figure of Speech

Hyperbole

Flashback

Foreshadowing

Irony

Motivation

Point of View

Refrain

Rhythm

Style

Suspense

Symbolism

Hope this helps =)

Answer 5

Not bad but a little on the scary side for the small ones.

Answer 6

I really like it.

although i think it wouldn't be appropriate for preschoolers (I don't think they would understand it)

but what I really like about it is its ironic, like at the beginning its the panther that hunts (like you're describing it) and at the end its the panther that gets hunted,

good job.

Answer 7

I think its good, but it might cause some preschoolers to have nightmares.