How would you react if your best friend missed your destination wedding??

Question

My best friend booked her airfare and hotel for my destination wedding and 3 days before she was suppose to arrive she called and said she could not afford it! She has known about this for a year and she was responsable to do my hair. I think her husband who is a jerk didn't want to go, so she screwed me over! I don't think money was the issue!! What should I do??? Help!!

Answer 1

Thats a chance you take when you decide on a destination wedding.  Some people will come an others wont.  What you need to understand is that you dont know the real reason she didnt attend and so you cannot judge.  Money problems pop up...this I can assure you from personal experience.  Or maybe something else came up that she didnt want to tell you because she knew how angry you would get so left it at money problems.  You feel like she wants being a good friend, but really, you arent either.  You talk poorly of her husband and her and their purchases when it isnt really your business.  I suggest you accept it and move on.  

Answer 2

That's just one of the drawbacks of destination weddings. You can't necessarily have everyone there whom you would like to have. It wasn't very nice of her to wait until three days before the wedding to cancel on you, but she probably has a good reason, even if she can't discuss it with you. You don't need to do anything, but if you're worried about your friend, you could get together with her to discuss her situation and take it from there.  

Answer 3

This is the big problem with destination weddings. People who really do want to go and have everything planned to go have last-minute things come up, be them financially or personally. It sounds to me like you should ease up on your friend. She more than likely was planning on attending, but something came up at the last minute. You can't blame her for something like that. Also, a lot of people feel guilty accepting money for certain things. She may not have wanted to take your offer on paying her way to your wedding because she would've felt guilty about it. Also, because you don't know the situation, it's really unfair to jump to conclusions and immediately blame her husband on her absence. I'm sure you're very hurt that someone so close to you wasn't able to attend, but I'm sure it wasn't her fault because it sounds to me like she really had her heart set on going.  

Answer 4

Although she agreed to go in the first place, she may have seen how expensive it was for her.  You cannot assume that it was her husband.  When you have a destination wedding, that is the risk you run.  You cannot expect people to flock all over just because you decided to get married elsewhere.  Although wouldn't it be nice if everyone did come?

Answer 5

Destination weddings are difficult to pull off sometimes. You have to expect things like this. I am sure your hair will be fine. I know you are disappointed, but try to look at it from the other side, and her point of view. In the grand scheme of life this is not a huge problem, and I am sure you will be able to figure out what to do. And, don't let this ruin a good friendship. You said you thought it was her husband that didn't want to go, but you say SHE screwed you over. Not her fault, if that is the way it happened.

Answer 6

you need to get over it. apparently your friend didn't seem to think going to your wedding was important. there is nothing you can do about it.

Answer 7

This would anger anyone but how do you know that she is not telling the truth? You just have to try to find someone else to do your hair unfortunately. That is not so bad trust me!........ Compared to stuff like if she was your Maid of Honour. So give thanks for small blessings. You can always find someone else to do your hair.  Even though your friendship is never going to be the same.

Answer 8

write her off your friend list.  She either is in a bad marriage and not a free person or she does not really care about you.

Answer 9

Money and financial situations change. One minute she could have enough money to comfortably attend, and the next minute something may have happened. She or he husband may have lost their jobs, had a car break down, have a problem with their house, have someone in their family become ill, etc etc. And it could be something that she would not want to tell you (I didn't tell ANYONE when my husband was laid off) or something else may have come up that she needed to save her money for. Even if I was given a years advance notice of a wedding and could start saving, there are any number of things that could come up at the end that would cause me to choose to spend/save that money for something else that did or could come up.

Your hair will be fine, I'm sure you can find someone else to do it.

And if it is just her husband being a jerk and not wanting her to go, there is nothing you can do about it.

Is there any way you can offer to help her out financially if money is the issue?

Answer 10

I would be sad but I would understand, especially if you think it's her husband giving her a hard time. As a friend, make sure she is ok, because it's kind of weird that she would cancel at the last minute.  

Answer 11

You are probably more hurt and disappointed than anything. Unfortunately the same thing happened to me and my best friend only it was me that canceled at the last minute and she knew my husband was to blame, like you suspect. She will regret it for the rest of her life-because I do. The great thing is , because she is such a great friend, we got past it, please understand and just be there for her. I promise you had her situation been different- she would've been right there beside you!

Answer 12

It depends on the situation. She may have not saved right, or she may have had a problem last minute miniatured all the money she had saved. I know it is your special special people have outside of your wedding. e need to change their plans. Weddings are expensive for guests too, especially when you have a destination wedding. She should ahve figuhahave figuredr, but like I said earlier sometimes uncontrollable things pop up last mintue. Nmiminute wNo mattereason was, you will just have to deal with it now.

Your wedding already happened, so it really isn't worth worrying about it now! Some people are just stupid with money and are overly attatched tattachedignificant others. Other people have bad luck and haven't traveled enough to feel secure traveling on their own. Even if it was her fault, is it really worth runing yourruiningdship over it?

ADD: Florida is still expensive if you don't have the money!!! She still had to pay for the airfare and a place to stay. Either she would have to shell out extra money for a room with a kitchen or she would have to pay extra to eat out every night. SHe would also have all the other expenses associated with the weddings. It may not seem extravagant to you, but it is still money! She may have been to embarassed to speak up about it, and while it should be done as soon as she knew there would be a problem (which, again, could have occured right before she informed you she couldn't come).

She has a life outside of your wedding. The wedding is over. Talk to HER about it or get over it, we can't help you.

ADD: She still would have had to pay for food, and possiblly more money for the hotel and/or rental car. She may have paid extra early on to get a refunable ticket, which she may have cashed in on. I think it is just more proof that she had money issues since she had invested so much money in it.

Answer 13

She screwed you over? She has to miss her best friend's wedding because she doesn't have the money for that sort of extravagance, and you're upset that she screwed you over? She's probably just as upset at not having the money as you are. Not everyone can afford to take a foreign trip. It's not like you can just put it on your credit card.

Answer 14

Times are tough and people don't have extra money anymore to go on exotic destination weddings anymore.

So, she couldn't afford to go. Get over it.

Answer 15

Honestly, you don't sound like much of a friend so perhaps it's better that she did choose not to go. The world doesn't revolve around you and people aren't out to get you so it would be in your best interests to grow up.

And unless things have changed in the last few months, most (if not all) places require that you pay for them at the time when you book airfare or hotels and don't have policies to pay when you show up. So she's likely telling you something to cover up for the fact since she feels bad. Either way, that is her business, not yours.

Answer 16

This is the downside of having a destination wedding unfortunately. As disappointed as you are, try to understand. Congrats.