How would you react if your daughter, one year shy of being a legal adult...?

Question

...left your house for a few days because you were fighting with your spouse about health insurance, life insurance, house ownership, and the like, taking these important documents with her?

What if she turned off her cell phone and blocked your calls?

Would it make you angrier at your spouse, would it make you see reason, or would it be a relief to have the responsibilities in someone else's hands?

Answer 1

I would think she was trying to stop her parents fighting.

I'd think she felt powerless and took the documents to grab some power in the situation.

I'd feel bad that I and my fictional spouse had exposed our daughter to this stress.

EDIT:  It would be wrong for the parents to leave it to their daughter to "play mediator" - that's what marriage guidance counsellors are for.

I TOTALLY disagree with Super Ruper and "Woman 2".  (I won't waste my breath on Cassius.)

Answer 2

As long as she is somewhere safe hopefully she'll chill out and come home in a few days. Its not cool that she took the documents with her. If she isnt home in a few days call the cops! Shes still underage! :)

Answer 3

No - I would not be angrier with my spouse - how would the irresponsible and selfish actions of a child be his fault?

I would lay the blame squarely where it belonged - with the child.  What is resolved when she goes missing along with the documents?  Does she believe if they documents are gone, then the fighting will cease?  Its childish, foolish and selfish behaviour - and I would have a very hard time giving her any respect or responsibility in the future.  This sounds like the actions of a 10 year old - not a near adult!

Answer 4

i have three girls, 22, 17, and almost 10. if ANY of my girls did this, i'd beat some ***. seriously, they don't want to make me mad. i don't see why your 17 year old daughter is involved in your fighting. she probably thought she was doing the right thing, but kids should know their place.

Answer 5

I would not be in that situation because I would only consider marriage to a woman that knows her place.

Answer 6

I agree with Zucchinis and would hope that the fact that a child was so desperate to do something as serious as this would wake me up.

Of course she should not do it, but first off ~ how did she access these important documents without a parent's assistance unless the adults were very careless and 2) why are the adults behaving so badly that such a step is needed to get through to them and 3) the parent "threatens" to rip up legal papers of another child? Monkey see, monkey do. They have taught the kid this is how to do it, they can hardly complain when she follows their lead.

These people should grow the f*ck up.

Sad to say, they'll probably blame the kid and take all their aggro out on her instead of acting like grown ups.

Cheers :-)

Answer 7

The child shouldn't have to play mediator and shouldn't be involved with the so-called adults' dispute.

Obviously she was upset over the arguing and fighting, so I guess she figured this would be a way to stop it. This is the parents' fault, if you need to fight, do so by all means, but don't unnecessarily involve your daughter.

The adults need to tell their daughter they will not fight in front of her, and grow up.  

Answer 8

I would be angry with the daughter.  The issue is not the documents but the disagreement over the terms.   She would find a new place to live.    

Why would another daughter leave their lease with the parent?  Give that to her.

I do agree with Super Ruper.