How would you rewrite this sentence? I don't think it sounds right in my essay on teenage life?

Question

Many adults want to be individuals rather then similar to everyone else, but in high school its very strange if one’s and individual and cool and one’s in a crowd.

Answer 1

Whilst many adults stride to be individuals in a crowd, the reversal of this is seen in the high school scene, as it is considered undesirable and strange for a person to be individual, though it's considered cool to be a part of a crowd.

Answer 2

many adults per fer to be individuals, and not follow the crowd. Were as most high school students look to fit into crowds and "cliques" and not be recognized as an individual but associated with a certain group of people.

Answer 3

I think its too long.

Many adults aspire to be individuals, rather than similar to everybody else. However, in high school, it's very strange if you are an individual. And it is cooler to be part of a crowd or clique.

those are the correct grammer usages and words. I think u have a misplaced modifier somewhere in the 2nd part because it doesnt sound correct (and a little confusing) when u 1st read thru it. And u can start a sentecne with And if it is cloesly related to the subject of the sentence b4 it

Answer 4

Most adults want to be individuals, instead of fitting into a mold. However in high school it is far more common to  see one particular brand of people everywhere, than an individual personality.

Answer 5

Unlike adulthood where it is beneficial to have one's own ideas and beliefs, high school encourages similarity with cliques so that one can fit in.

Answer 6

Many adults want to be individuals, different from others.  In high school, however, it is unusual for teens to want to be individuals, choosing instead to be one of a crowd.

Answer 7

You are right this sentence doesn't make much since especially at the end. I hate when I am trying to explain something and I just can't get the words out. Now I don't know exactly what you are trying to say, but I will do my best. I would probably not make this one sentence though. I would probably make is a couple of sentences...

Most adults want to be individual. As an adult they are allowed to be different. In High School it is the opposite. They want to be as similar as possible so they fit into the crowd.

Well don't know if that is what you are tying to say or not.

Answer 8

Many adults prefer to express their individuality, as opposed to teens who find comfort in numbers.

Answer 9

The first half of the sentence sounds great, but I would try to come up with something different for the second half. It's a bit awkward. Maybe use the word conformist or non-conformist.

i.e. ...but in high school it's very strange to be an individual in a conformist society.

Society in this case would be the world of high school. Think about how you would say this thought aloud. I always ask people when helping them to rewrite, "What are you trying to say here?" Usually what they tell me aloud is a much better sentence than the one they wrote.