How would you suggest to handle a family matter concerning ownership of a dog?

Question

I have given plenty of advise in this area, but I am a little stuck. Tonight at my wedding (long story) my nephew (17, going to college next year, works a full time job, has lots of sports, and friends) told me he put an application to adopt a rescued APBT. While I would applaud him for this (he owns a mixed breed that he saved off the road after being hit by a car, he walked it several miles to a vet and payed for his care and has him now Chauncey, also rescued a cat from teens that were beating it to death, and payed for him to fix him up too, that's J.J the loveliest cat in the world) he doesn't really care for Chauncey now as it is. His mom and my dad do. Since he's so busy. Chauncey is a great dog, but needs better training. My nephew tried really hard to be there for him all the time but he is very busy. I can understand. My husband and I also offered to take in Chauncey when he goes to school since my sister is on a limited income and doesn't really love dogs. Anyway back to the point, when he told me my heart just dropped. I said to him "is that a very wise choice?" he didnt like it much but I didn't get a lot of time to talk about it since its my wedding and all. I asked his mom where he went to put that app in and WHY did she support this. Well I know my sister and she cant say no. My nephew is a bit of a manipulator and he has gotten into his fair share of trouble. Sooo I DO NOT think this is a good choice, and given my animal history I can NOT condone this or support it. I want to call the place he is doing this and put a stop to it but I am family what can I do?

Answer 1

If its any kind of decent rescue.. they wont adopt to him.

They cant adopt to a 17 year old legally anyways.  Rescues have adoption contracts, and since he's not 18, legally he cant sign anything.

Many rescues will not adopt to a college kid either because of the risk of the dog ending up neglected or in a shelter.

Hopefully this is a decent rescue who will look at the situation and deny the adoption.  Im sure the kid means well, but it just isnt the right time to add another dog.

If his dad signed, then his DAD is responsible for the dog.  However, if its mentioned that the dog is for the son, he lives in another state, going to college, etc.. a reputable rescue will NOT adopt to this situration.

Unless the dad is wanting to adopt the dog for himself, I highly doubt the rescue will consider this adoption.

Answer 2

I agree with Nekkid Bootie, but if I thought there was even a slim chance that they would approve his app. I would call and speak to the rescue in question.  I would tell them what you have told us and ask them not to tell your nephew you called.  Is it sneaky, yes.  But it keeps the peace in the family

Answer 3

Well basically your hands are tied and if everyone keeps bailing this kid out of consequences he won't learn.

You can take him out to coffee or whatever and say look I wanted to talk with you a minute cause your are getting older and almost ready to go off to colllege or whatever and I wanted to tell you a story... then find a story to tell him...

or alternative or in addition give him early grad gift of obedience classes for the dog or dogs. AND DON't offer to watch the dog either.. he needs to figure this out himself adn his dad should step i sice he okayed it.  (you can check online for trainers or just get basic petsmart type coupon

Answer 4

I agree with Mcally. While it seems sneaky, it is in the best interest of the potential adopted dog. This is more than worth the small amount of guilt you might feel for "betraying" a family member. The problem lies in finding the place he's put in the application to.

Also, remember that if he does get the dog, it is not your fault. It sounds like you've done and are doing everything you possibly can with the information you have.

Answer 5

100% agree with nekkid.  You should only get a pet if you're sure you're able to care for it for it's whole life.  If you know you're going to school in another year, get a pet that only lives a year... like a fish.  

Hopefully the rescue doesn't adopt to your nephew.. as good hearted as he sounds, he's not equipped in his life to take care of a dog, esp a APBT rescue!  And given that he's not taking care of Chauncey now... it's a no brainer.