How would you tell a 5 year old child that this man is their father??

Question

Man was out of childs life for 3 years

Child now sees the man on a very regular basis, but hasnt been told that he is the father...

any suggestions on how to tell the child? or any ideas on when an appropriate time would be...

Answer 1

hmm that is tough.

I think first I'd make sure the man is going to stay around for awhile. You won't want to tell him a man is their daddy then he up and leave again.

Also since this child hasn't had a daddy in their life do they know what a "daddy" is? Would he truely understand the meaning of the word?

Maybe see if you can find a children's book that is about a child and their father. I would think book would tell about what a daddy does with the child and stuff like that. You may have to find one that fits your situation because if the book shows the daddy living in the same home with child it may be confusing. But if you have a book like read it to the child a few time. Point to the daddy in the book and make a big deal about what fun the character in the book has with their daddy.

Then if the child seems to understand you and this man can tell them that he does have a daddy who wants to do things with him and be in his life.

You may also want to talk his dr for more info. They may have better suggestions & have dealt with situation before.

Answer 2

I dont know if anyone who has answered has ever had this happen because some of their answers just seem messed up sorry...but then again I may be the wrong one. I would recommend sitting down with your child and straight out asking him/her if they know who their daddy is. See how they answer it and then say honey your daddy is this person (if the child knows his name) and then ask the child how they feel about it. I would also make sure that in the future I would have ictures of the childs dad just in case he decides he isent going ot be around so then the child can have that and refer back to the pictures if they are waning to see them.  Also I would talk to the dad and make surehe is comfortable with this first but whenevr he is coming over or you guys are spending time together i would refer to him as "your daddy" is coming over or would you like for your daddy to come today. Things like that so that the child gets comfortable hearing him called the dad then he can decide if that is what he/her wants to call him now or wait until they are comfortable enough to do it..just dont force it. But I do have to agree if you are not he mother then I would let the mother do these things instead. ut if you are good luck I hope this helps

Answer 3

truely i dont know from experiance but maybe some night right when the child is being put down for bed, it would be a good time then while they sleep they have time to digest it and let it sink in a bit....just a sugestion...good luck

Answer 4

tell him "this is your father, but he was away on business" should work

Answer 5

just tell the kid that daddy wasn't there and now he's back.  the kid will understand.

i think you should have told the kid when the man first came back but i guess you can't go back in time so yeah...just tell him that daddy's back from a long trip or something.

Answer 6

dont, over time if the father stays in the childs life and acts like a father then the child will come to know that man as his father. if not, then worry yourself about it. until then, the child is only three, do you really think they will completely understand ?

Answer 7

just say to your child listen sweetie, this man and me got together and had you but then he had to go away for a little bit. but now that hes back u should know that this is ur daddy. its gonna be a bit difficult for a 5 year old to understand but you should tell him ASAP anyway. he'll figure it out eventually wut it means if he doesnt understand now. good luck!

Answer 8

Really no easy way to do it besides just saying this is your dad.  Kids understand a lot more than you think they do.

Answer 9

Tell the child the truth now.  Why hasn't the child been told that this man is the father to begin with?  So what if he wasn't in the picture previously, the child should have been told from the very beginning.

Answer 10

you should have been upfront from the beginning. My twins bio father was not in their lives but I would show them his photo and tell them this was their birth father. I have neverlied to them even though I have been with my current husband since during my pregnancy so he is who they cal "daddy" but they've always know they have another father.

It's always best to be honest from the beginning. If it's all they've ever known it seems normal to them. It's when you spring it on them like you plan to do that causes distress and confusion.

Answer 11

Depends, if your the mom invite the man over and tell the child. If your not the parent you don't have the right to say anything.