How would you work this dinner issue out?

Question

Here's the thing...my husband works second shift so he is only home a couple of nights a week for dinner. It's usually just me and the kids. We have 4 boys 13, 13, 11 and 8. My kids have really good table manners because we started at a young age teaching them. They always ask to be excused before leaving the table.

The issue I am having is, that by the time I am done getting my youngest his plate (the older three get their own), and pour drinks and then get my plate and sit down, the older three boys are halfway done eating.

How do you work it out so that you all sit down and eat together at the same time?

Do I....

make the kids wait to start eating until everyone is sitting?

Wait to call them for dinner until I have mine and my youngest son's plate ready?

Make them stay at the table until everyone is done even if they are finished?

Tonight by the time I sat down to eat with them, one of my older boys was done and he asked to be excused and I allowed him to leave the table but I really like to have time to chat with them at dinner.

I've thought about putting their plates on the table and then bringing all the food to the table to serve but we have a small table so I usually leave the food on the stove and everyone goes up to get their food.

The only other thing I can come up with is if I get all their plates myself and set them on the table, get mine and THEN call them for dinner. But then I wonder if I should be getting their plates for them at their ages. I want them to be independent.

Answer 1

i would say you don't have to have everything ready, but maybe have your youngest son's plate ready, then halfway through getting your's call the boys out for dinner.  

Answer 2

I think you should have the youngest sons plate ready first, then get yours ready or be getting your ready when you call the rest of the kids down to eat, then you'll have your youngest son eating and by the time the boys get their plate, you'll be eating. Then you can chat while all of you have a great meal.

Answer 3

When my 2 step-children are here, I have 4 kids to organise dinner for, and what we do is line the plates across the bench and dish up like a process line.  While I am doing this, the kids pour the drinks and set the table.  By the time they have done this, everyone's dinner is ready!

The rule in our house is also that no-one leaves the table until everyone is finished.  If they leave the table before then, they musn't be wanting dessert!  Instead, we just talk about the day, or whatever conversational topic comes up.

Sometimes, when my hubby has to work late, I feed the kids and put our meals aside in the fridge, and I will eat with him later.

Answer 4

Why can't an 8-year-old get his own plate?  My 5-year-old gets his own plate ready and dishes up the food for his 2-year-old brother while I'm doing my plate and my 3-year-old's.  My husband is only home for dinner 1-2 nights a week because  he is a full time student and he works full time.  I think it's time you taught your 8-year-old how to get his own plate dished up.  I stopped helping my oldest when he started refusing my help, around age 3-1/2.  Messy sometimes? Yes.  Convenient now? Definitely.  And I pour drinks before we sit down to the table.  The rule is that they can't drink or eat anything until we are all seated though.  This helps us not to rush through dinner.  That's usually the proper etiquette of dinner table manners anyway, not eating until everyone is seated and food is all dished up.  Make your older boys wait an extra few minutes while you finish dishing up.

Answer 5

Get the youngest plate nad your plate... THEN call the older ones.

Answer 6

Personally, I either do two things:

- If it's a nice elegant meal, I make it family style so we all sit down and pass the plates of food and put our own food on the plates.

- If I don't want the extra dishes, I make all the plates up for everyone and then serve them and call them down to dinner once all the food is out and drinks are poured.  That way, everyone (including yourself) eats at the same time.

Oh and my Dad still puts our plates together and my bro and I are 19 & 23.  We're independent though, sometimes we make our own dinners, sometimes we tell our Dad to chill and make dinner for him.  So, I wouldn't worry about that.

Answer 7

It sounds like eating together at the same time is what you really want so make all the plates of food (including yours) and pour all the drinks and then have the boys come to the kitchen to help you put the plates and glasses on the table. That way you can all start eating at the same time.

Answer 8

i would call them for dinner after you have your and your youngest's plates ready. that way you will all be starting to eat at the same time, but they will still be getting there own food (like you said, you want them to be independent).  

Answer 9

wow, that sounds like a lot of work. Props to you! anyways, I say that since mealtime is and can be "talk time" with your boys... then set all meals down at the same time, or better yet you have the elder boys help you set the meals down, so at  the same time they're learning independence, they're helping you so your not doing all the work, & it will give you just a little more time to get conversations started. good luck!

Answer 10

i would get little 1's plate dished 1st, then dish up the others, get an older boy to do drinks for you ALL while you finish dishing up then ask other 2 to help put all the meals and the drinks on the table ready for you all to start!  

Answer 11

It is good manners for everyone to wait until everyone is served before they begin eating. They need to learn this because it will reflect badly upon them as adults if they eat before anyone else has gotten their meal (especially at restaurants!).

Answer 12

I don't have 44 but 3 kids... and I sometimes face the same problem...

What worked for me was to get them help me set the table, and while they're putting the plates, I serve the food (my kitchen table is small as well) and i've asked them to wait until everybody sits and then start eating... making them stay until everyone is finished sounded like a good idea, but then they all wanted to leave and there was no conversation left anyway... whereas if they wait in the beginning, they are hungry and are glad to help...

Also, it sounds like a good idea to fill ur and ur youngest one's plates first, and then call the other three... you'll have saved some time, at least.

Hope this helps.

Answer 13

I hope I answer this right, given i love to eat with my little ones and can never get it done right, but I have been considering..

Try thansgiving style, if you set the food all on one area everyone can serve themselves, little ones served by parents, BUT they all see that everyone is proactivly doing their thing to get their food.

Everyone has their food, all start eating and from there see how it goes.

try making a proliminary dish to test it, something simple like meatloaf, mash patatoes and corn.

Hope the idea helps!

best of luck!

C.