How young is too young to leave your kids home alone?

Question

I have a daughter who will be 13 in November and my other daughter just turned 10. I have never really left them home alone, but I needed to do it tomorrow for about 3 hours and I feel fine with it. My job is only about 7 minutes from my home and we have plenty of neighbors who keep an eye on our house constantly. My mother-in-law was not at all happy about it and felt I was being neglectful, saying that I could have my kids taken away if someone found out about it. I know for a fact that is not true, but she would not take leave it be until I agreed to have my husband take the kids to her so she could babysit them.

I'm feeling a bit invaded. I also feel that my parenting judgment is being questioned. I am a good parent and don't even allow my kids to walk in the mall without me or to walk the neighborhood alone.

Am I being too relaxed about allowing them to stay home for 3 hours by themselves in the middle of the day?

Answer 1

it depends on how mature yr 13 year old is, but that should be fine, and make sure u talk about it to her first, and outline rules, and make sure she's okay with it.

Answer 2

Well, your MIL is right here. They are too young. It would be different if you were going down the block for coffee with a friend for forty minutes, but not in this situation with you being at work. TOO many things can happen in the blink of an eye - so just don't do it. And of course it calls into question your judgement - why wouldn't it?

Be inconvenienced. It's worth it.

Answer 3

no!!!

I think you should keep ur children at home and  just pop up on them once and a while

Answer 4

i never left my kids alone period no matter how young they are and i wouldn't do it now. it isn't the age that is different its because each child is different and maybe one is more mature then other so it is hard to say but i couldn't do it and she couldn't shes just helping you and i am shocked you are taking offense of this shes not doing it for that reasont o belittle you she caresa bout her grandkids and its not nothing bad about her doing this.

Answer 5

I would say under 13 is definately too young to be home alone. Maybe even under 15, but definately 13. Or atleast 12-15 I wouldn't for long periods of time,etc

Answer 6

when theyre one... its cool i do it with mine

Answer 7

I used to babysit other people's kids almost every weekend when I was 12-13...I don't see what the problem is to leave them alone for 3 hours. Not only does it build trust but it teaches them responsibility and accountability. Your MIL needs to mind her own business. Good luck!! :)

Answer 8

I always thought it was fine

but when I was 12 in California and my brother was a couple years younger then me. A neighbor reported that we were home alone and we were taken to an orphanage til my mom could come pick us up. She had to pay 200 dollars.

Some states do have age requirements for kids being home alone and a age requirement to babysit a brother/sister.

As long as a neighbor doesn't say anything or a fire doesn't start it should be fine.

now a days kids are so grown up and mature. They know much more then when I was a kid.

They should be okay to take care of themselves.

Answer 9

im sure it would be okay!

Answer 10

I definitely think they are too young. Even if work is only 7 minutes away, a lot can happen in 7 minutes. But what I don't understand is if your mom-in-law is willing to babysit, why would you take a chance and leave them alone?

Answer 11

omg no

they will like praise u

u can leave kids at home MUCH younger than that

trust me, you have nothing to feel bad about

Answer 12

well 12 is the legal age for babysitting and staying home alone i started to stay home alone for longer than that when i was 10 so i think your ok, 12 is the legal age

Answer 13

I think it depends on how mature they are and like you said what kind of neighborhood you live in.  I was allowed to babysit other kids at 12 but i was really mature. But then again I also had to go to the babysitter at age 12 during the day because we lived in the country and my mom didn't want us that far away for so long.

Answer 14

I think it is more the maturity level of the kid not the age.  I spoke with my local law enforcement prior to leaving my kids home alone and that is exactly what they said.  You could have an 8 year old who is more mature than a 12 year old.  My kids are 11 & 12 and are left home alone at times.  I work about 10 min. away and am able to come home whenever needed.  I understand the feeling invaded as well.  They are your kids and as long as you and your husband both agree and the kids feel ready to be home alone then it is up to you as the parents.

Answer 15

From my perspective as a 19 year old woman I think your mother in law is butting in and she has no right to.

I think you leaving your daughters at home by themselves for a few hours is pefectly fine.

Especially since you only work 7 minutes away.

Both of my parents worked when I was younger and I had to go to latch key after school. I was fine with it when I was young but when I was about nine I hated it because none of my friends were there and I also had this fear that one day my parents wouldn't come and pick me up.

It got so bad that when I was 10 I would stare at the clock and every minute my Mom was late I would be on the verge of tears. So when I was 11 my parents agreed to let me stay home alone after school. I was only at home a couple hours by myself and it made a world of difference! I was so much happier to be at home by myself than at latchkey. I felt very safe at home and knew what I was allowed to do and what I was not. I was very responsible.

I never looked at the clock, never worried when my parents would come home, I was much more relaxed.

I also had neighbors that knew to make sure I was safe, such as your neighbors. I also of course had numbers for both of my parents, emergency contact numbers and other such things.

I think you need to tell your mother in law to back off, tell her you appreciate that she cares so much but they are your children and you know what is best for them.

Just make sure you have talked it over with your daughters and make sure they are okay with it and know the rules such as keeping the doors locked, no answering it to strangers, make sure they have you and your husband's work numbers and cell phone numbers as well as an emergency contact list and other such things.

I think you are being very reasonable!

It is perfectly fine for you to leave your daughters alone in your home for a few hours!

I hope I was of some help and I wish you all the best!

Answer 16

no, 3 hours is fine for a 13 yr old to be left alone with a 10 yr old sister. i was left home alone with my infant brothers when i was 10 for the same amount of time plenty of times.

Answer 17

Every country / state has different laws.

In NZ its 14 yrs old.

But my kids were home after school from 3.30 - 5.30 each day on their own from 12 yrs old.

The neighbour knew they were home and I would ring them from work to make sure they were home by 3.30.

Only works with sensible & mature children - if you have any concerns about what they will get up to - get a sitter.

(PS they will eat everything in the house when you are not around !!!)

PS - tell the mother in law it is not her business & that the neighbour is looking in on them regularly.

Answer 18

no its fine. im 15. my parents started leavin me home at the age. and they were gone for a longer period of time.

Answer 19

No you are not being too relaxed only you know your oldest child and if she's mature enough to hold down the fort I remember when I was 11 I would walk home after school with a bunch of neighborhood kids and was home alone for a few hours everyday during the week I started babysitting when I was 12 small babies and everyone always said I was so mature for my age and would always be a good mom oneday and I agree just go with what you feel is best and you might need to just override your mother n law Im sure you know your daughter is mature enough....

Answer 20

Firstly, it depends where you live.  You should call your local police dept and ask them the legal age for kids staying home alone.  Also, if there is a time factor involved with different ages.

Here in Toronto, Ont, Can, it's is 12 and up to 6 hours..until age 16.  Our police, et al suggest that your child takes a home-alone safety course which is offered through places like St. John's Ambulance/Community Centres, etc.

And yes, as everyone says it is really dependent on the maturety of your children..both of them...your 13 yr old might be fine..your 10 year old might drive your 13 old nuts.

As for your mum-in-law - well my son is 15 (going on 43) and his sister is 8 - my mum doesn't think I should let my son pick up my daughter from school, babysit her, go to the store...you see where I'm going with this?  Grandparents worry because they love us and the Grandkids, dearly!  I had to tell my mum that she needed to relax and that at some point my son had to have some responsibility.  It's still a 'grrrr' spot but she doesn't say as much about it now.  Thank goodness!

Be sure you leave all the help numbers, people they can trust numbers, etc.  And have them call in every hour or you call them.