Hubby's X-wife sent her friend in to snoop?

Question

While babysitting my hubby's boys one afternoon, one of the boys friends was to come over and stay the night.

This friend's mother happens to be best friends with my hubby's X-wife.

I am not involved with the X-wife other than a polite hello and good bye- I let my husband deal with her. She has overstepped her boundaries many times and insists she has a "right" to a "relationship" with me.

My husband and I agree there is no need for her to enter our house every time she picks up or drops off the kids.

We were told that the friend would be dropped off at our house after my husband was home from work

around 7pm.

The X called my husband to say that the friend's would not be coming over after all.

But at 6pm the friend and his mom showed up at the front door.

The friend's mother walked into our house asking to meet me...then she walked through our kitchen, ate our food and wandered through the family room.

I explained that I was told they were not coming as I put our dogs out. The friend's mother followed me outside and asked for my phone number because she felt I would be the one caring for the kids all weekend.

I explained to her (nicely) that it was not necessary for her to have my number because I would be working all weekend, if there were any issues she could talk with my hubby. She tried for push the issue a bit further, but when I did not change my mind, she got red in the face and left. I later found out the X was outside in the car.

I found this very odd.

What are your opinions?

Answer 1

Sounds like the Ex and her friend both have a few screws loose!   Your hubby needs to confront both of them on this one, sorry!   Your home, your rules and neither the ex nor her friend would be allowed inside again.  If the boys are to spend the night/weekend (whatever)...they can be dropped off at the door.   Stand your ground on this one.

Answer 2

I read your post, and your situation is just like mine.  Ex-wife wrapped her tentacles through our lives under the guise of being my friend.  I found out that she had used some of the confidential things I had told her (about some issues with a niece of mine) to get in BFF with her oldest daughter (12 yo).  She has broken my confidence and flat out lied to my face on countless occasions.  I tried to be friends with this woman for my step kid's sake, but she turned out to be a real piece of work.  SHe now complains incessantly to my husband about how I'm so terrible and all she wants is to be friends with me.  I cut off ALL communication with her.  My husband deals 100% with her. period.  

Your husband needs to stand his ground with his ex and make it very clear that she is not welcome in your home.  Otherwise, you are asking for a HUGE nightmare!  Trust me on this one!!!

Answer 3

I would def want to meet the woman that my child would be spending the night with...but never would i come in unwelcome. She sounds very pushy like your hubbys ex..sounds like youve got a nosey ex wife who is getting her friends to snoop thats all! If it happens again id confront the ex wife...she is a total creeper.

Answer 4

Let your husband deal with his X on when and how access to their children is being met...As for  the X's friend, you did not invite her-she invited herself.  It is a clear case of intrution into your privscy. Since her child come to stay, she should be the one to give you her phone number...As for the X being outside in the car,  it may be nothing, since the two women are good friends, but it sure is suspiciously "odd"...  And since you husband knows this wioman, a friend of her X, she would be familiar with the house...perhaps there is something more into this ?  Somehing your husband has not told you about ?

Answer 5

Well, you must remember when you marry a man with children you are accepting all of him including his ex who fathers his children.

For the kids sake I would try and have an open and respectful relationship with the woman. By not allowing her in the house to pick up her children you are putting her children in an awkward position weather you like to believe so or not.

For the friends mother, she did seem a bit intrusive didn't she? Usually, I wouldn't hesitate to smack a ho but in this case it really does sound like she was just trying to keep a close eye on her son. For the ex being in the car that is a bit strange and perhaps she was trying to find info but who wouldn't? You are in charge of her children for the time being.

For the ex this is probably about them, not you. As hard as it may be try to understand her feelings.

Good luck with everything!

Answer 6

Hey im not a parent but i would fell this to be very intrusive!! And odd. She obviously cant let go off something or someone, id be carefull. ANd how cheecky to just walk straight into your home! you should call over there and walk into her house, eat her food and snoop around...see how she likes it!!

Answer 7

I would want to come in and look around at any place my kid would spend the night. I'd also want a contact number.

I wouldn't eat their food, though.