Hubby doesn't want a child right now?

Question

My hubby is a Marine. At the end of the month we will finally be living together at his Permenant Duty Statione. We have been talking about having a child for a while now. We've tried to have a child for several months and nothing happened :( It's been almost 3 months since I've seen him last. About 2 months ago, he had came to the conclusion he doesn't want a child for about 4 more years. We had both came to the conclusion we wanted one and even tried to have a child! I also know I have to be patient cuz it is a big responsibility and have to consider his feelings. But it just seems like he has made the decision without talking to me about it. I still want a child badly! But I dont know how to bring it up and sometimes we bicker because we have different views now. I want him to consider having a child sometime soon. How do I talk to him and make him realize it's the right time.

Answer 1

Ask him his reasons for not wanting a child. Maybe since he's away alot, he'

s considering you and the baby. You'd be raising it alone alot of the time? It might be good to just really talk this through and don't be mad and resentful towards his decision. It can be a scary thing for men, having a baby. Talk to him some more, see what happens.

Answer 2

Sit down with him and talk to him, but also listen to his thoughts. The best way to convince a man is to listen to his thoughts and twist them to make him do what you want. If he is not ready now, what makes him so sure he will be in 4 years from now? By then he can have a healthy and beautiful 3 year old boy or girl to love. You both have a place to stay, who knows what the future holds and you got married cause you love each other. What comes out of love sometimes is children. Tell him you would like him to reconsider having children sometime soon, like not right away (it takes 9 months for the baby to arrive **wink wink**). Try your best to talk to him and convince him. I wish you all the luck. best Wishes!

Answer 3

I'm having the same problem with my husband, except he hasn't agreed to start trying.... and it's so freakin frustrating... he wants to wait until "we're financially stable".... which I don't see ever happening... not financially stable enough for a child anyways.... and I know what he's saying, but it just seems as if it's never going to happen...so I do understand what you are going through.... I want a child soooo bad....and I don't know how to just get over it til he's ready, so I'd like to see what others say on that situation... i think bottom line is it's not MY decision it's OUR decision, and htat I have to wait until he's ready.... blah! ;)  good luck!

Answer 4

JUST TALK TO HIM

Answer 5

Ask why his feelings changed. If any thing just let nature take it's course. Don't try so hard and just take each day as it comes. If you happen to come up pregnant then you can both deal with it then.

Answer 6

in my opinion you need to have a really good frank talk...calmly...about all the pros and cons, timing, concerns, etc.......

If you can't find common ground and agree to a compromise, you will have resentment lurking, which is not good for a healthy relationship......

If he led you to beleive that the time wouldbe right sooner rather than later, (and you did start trying) then it is unfair to change the rules without consulting you and explaining why. Who knows...you may have difficulties conceiving, and if that's the case, you need to know sooner rather than later so you can explore your options......

If you can't agree and feel comfortable with the outcome, I'd say your relationship is headed for a rocky road, and may be in strife.....

Parenthood is a very strong instinct and you'll be miserable if he keeps delaying it.....or never allows you that opportunity.....4 years is a VERY long time........!

Good luck.......

Answer 7

why don't you ask him why it is the wrong time? is he concerned about financial, unsure of your relationship, doesn't want to get sent away and not see the child. It sounds like he is being rational. and not just saying I dont want a kid. Find out his reasons and if they are irrational or not.

Answer 8

walefare