Hubby is working shift work sleeping days how do i keep the kids quiet??

Question

HELP!!! lol My man wrks from 11pm to 4am mon-wed thurs-sat he wrks 11p-noon and doesn't go straightg to sleep when he gets straight home. He then expects me to be able to keep all the kids silent while he sleeps while i get dinner and do baths and chores and homework and play time...i mentioned he may need to wear ear plugs as he used to previously and he got upset w me like i was in the wrong for suggesting this...but the kids are 8, 6, 6, and 3 with one on the way...how do i keep them quiet and keep them from opening and closing doors soo much and soo hard ???

Answer 1

maybe things would work better if he slept earlier in the day (right after work) and you take the kids out to the park or to play in the yard or run errands and such while he sleeps.  

Then in the evening, everyone can have dinner together and he could help with bathtime and have some interactions with the kids.

Keeping children those ages silent in the late afternoon and evening is just NOT going to happen.

Answer 2

tell them that is IMPOSSIBLE, and as the father, he just might have to take responsibility and start working days!

Answer 3

ok about school do they go get the 3 oldies ones in an after school program and the three year old a coloring book or this is what i do hubby can sleep with the tv or radio on how old is hubby because my 3 year old can sleep thru any thing why cant he oh ps make a play area that is on the opposite side of the house then the bedroom dude sleep in.

Answer 4

Maybe you can work this out by him wearing ear plugs - h**l, I wear them when my husband snores! And you do what you can to help keep the kids entertained off site and encourage them to keep it down.    

It is a big deal because it interfers with normal living noise.  Not that he can help the hours he keeps but everyone has to do a little bit to help him out, including him.  

Answer 5

You don't. Kids are going to be kids. Tell your husband to get over himself, buy him some earplugs, and let him decide if he's going to use them or not. You're already doing too much and can't be expected to get 4 kids to act like they're in Sunday school when they're in their own home.

Answer 6

I think you need to start by feeling some real empathy & respect for him yourself.  I'm sure you do, but you're also feeling attacked, so it's having a hard time coming to the surface.  

Forgetting about the anger (justified, unjustified, rational or irrational) that you're both feeling right now, really put yourself in his place.  Imagine what he feels like working those hours (not what you would feel like, but, knowing him as you do after all these years, what *he* feels like).  Very little sleep, probably fighting sleep while he's at work (or over-caffeinating himself to avoid fighting sleep), missing you all on top of that - that's bound to make him feel irritable.  I'm sure he doesn't like feeling like that any more than you like him being like that (or than you like the thought of him suffering like that).  

Once you're there & really understanding why it's important for the kids to show respect & gratitude to dad for what he does for all of you, sit down with each of them & help them to understand what daddy's going through for them.  They love dad, too, just like you do.  They want to show him that they appreciate what he's doing for the family by working these hours.  They want to help him.  

Now, whenever the noise level rises, all you need to do is remind them - "Hey guys, dad's sleeping".  That won't stop all of the noise, but it will help them to understand & cooperate when you remind them, when they forget.  

The next thing you want to do is to encourage outside playtime as much as possible.  Take them to the park in the evenings after dinner!  Or, for a walk around the block.  If you're not working, too, try to plan the inside stuff, chores, dinner prep, etc, during the day, so that you'll have time to keep them occupied at night.  

Do you have a basement or other play room that's far from where dad sleeps?  Fix it up to be more inviting for them, when it's inside playtime.  

And, make sure dad's sleeping space is dark like a cave (heavy curtains & pull down shades help).  If he can sleep with 'white noise', pick up a white noise generator of some kind - even a window fan will do the trick.  

My husband's been working 3rd shift since before I met him, through his daughter's visits when she was younger (now lives with us full-time), a p*****n with attitude niece living with us, two babies (now 6 & 8), two dogs & lots of foster puppies.  It's not easy & it does take understanding from both you *and* him - both of you trusting that the other truly understands & respects the challenges that the other is facing, but it is possible.  

Answer 7

either beat'em, get a board game for them to play, or go to the store buy a age apporitate game that will keep them busy, really i don't know.

Answer 8

What about those things they put in babies rooms that create white noise or one of those rain forest or ocean CD's?  Your husband is being a bit unreasonable about the ear plugs, but there's aways a compromise.

Let the kids play in the part of the house farthest away from him and try the background noise for him. Get him to agree that if that doesn't help he has to come up with another solution on his own or wear earplugs.  

Answer 9

well send the kids to friends or family or lock thaem in a cage outside? LoL but get the kids involved in things that cant be done at home or send ur man else where

Answer 10

wow....good question. dont know

Answer 11

Keeping the kids quiet is probably not going to be easy.  Instead of trying to keep them totally quiet, just remind them to keep the noise level down a bit and make sure you do all you can to "muffle" all the noise they make.  When my husband has to sleep during the day because of his shift (sometimes), he uses a fan in the bedroom turned on high.  This helps to drown out all the noise.  Another trick is to put a white noise maker or a fan outside the bedroom door.  That way, if the kids go near the bedroom door, the two fans together will be more likely to muffle the sound of them.

I have a home daycare and with these ticks, my husbnad is able to sleep without any disturbances.