Huge problem: is this getting awkward between me and my best friend?

Question

i've become closer to her relatives.

me and my best friend fetched her aunt from the airport and dropped her off at the house of her another aunt.

I really felt welcomed to their family with open arms..

everyone else knew me.

problem is.. i'm not her boyfriend..

her boyfriend called up. I acted like i wasn't hearing anything

but i was trying to avoid her.

she kept on avoiding me while they were talking as well..

she saw the pictures of me with my ex-girlfriend..

she felt insecure for some reason.

she kept on insisting she looks better than my ex.

in which i really believe she does.

I wanted to get away from her.. but she keeps on wanting me to stay..

I know we're both best friends but.. it's hurting me to see that I'm not even as good enough as her boyfriend..

I know I'm not as handsome as he is..

I know I'm not someone that she'll boast to her friends.

I know I can't make her feel that spark.. and

I know I can't make her feel like she's the luckiest girl in the world.

all I could do is listen to her when she has problems..

all i could do was to sit by her side and do my best to comfort her at her worst times..

because that's what friends do..

I wanted to hug her.

I wanted to kiss her.

I wanted to tell her how much I love her. (She knows that I do btw)

But because I am her best friend, I'm staying away because I know we'll hurt each other..

All I wished was for her to be happy.

I guess I needed to be specific when I wished for that.

I guess I should've wished for her to be happy with me.

But then again,that would be selfish of me.

Answer 1

Very nicely written and crafted together. Not sure if it's a poem, a story, a question, or just you venting. But look, tell her how you feel that's the only way to make it better.

Take a sad story. And make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, and then you can start to make it better.

Answer 2

Pull her to the side, and tell her that things are getting awkward for you, and that it is hard to be her best friend when you are starting to fall for her like a girlfriend.  Tell her that if she can not be your gf, you need to avoid her for awhile until you can readjust your thoughts about her.

If you don't take a chance to tell her how you feel, she will never know, and you will never know if she is feeling the same way.

Rejection is worth the try, and we all have either been rejected, or will be rejected at some point in our lives.  There is no shame in failing, only shame in having never tried!!