Humiliating, dominating and voyeristic lovin', what's the problem?

Question

Why is there such a stigma attached to wanting to be dominated, especially if you're female and want a man to dominate you. Not in a 'bad' way, but in a tie me up, whip me into submission and let people watch, then have your way with me, way?

My DP is lovely, and kind and gorgeous, and has always known I have what he calls a 'kinky' side, but rarely participates, and it's driving me nuts. I can understand not wanting anyone to watch, and that's fine....but I like and crave the others. 3 yrs together, and this has now started to put a strain on us !

Thanks xx

Answer 1

This is tough one. You need to tell him how important this is to you. You each need to give a little. Some times he should do it your way and some time his way.

Answer 2

Some guys just arent into it, some r

Answer 3

i know where your coming from.  my ex first got me into it cos he was into doming in a big way and we had a fab s*x life and doming played a huge part.  now my fiance is not into it at all and we have been together a year with hardly any doming and i crave it so much.  he just isnt interested in it and he says it feels wrong to hurt me.  it drives me mad but what can i do?  you cant force someone to do something they are not comfortable with but yeah it sucks.

Answer 4

How sad...your fella doesn't know the fun he's missing. I wonder if his problem is that he wants to be dommed and not the dom. Has he ever shown any sign of this?

If so, you could take it turns to play dom and satisfy each others delightful masochistic fantasies. And ignore remarks from anyone who suggests that you need psychiatric help...you're a healthy gal (I wish there were more like you!)

Answer 5

I think you need to go the psy sorry....something not normal about this issue!!

Answer 6

  Im sorry but you knew from the start that this wasn't his thing. Why should you expect him to change if he isn't comfortable with it. All you can ask is maybe find a dom partner that can fulfill your wishes. A very touchy subject to approach with your husband. I guess you have to decide if this is worth causing friction in your marriage over. Can give you more advice if you like just mail us..  

Answer 7

Sexual incompatability is at the root of more relationship troubles than is ever thought.  Sounds like this will become an issue between you in the end and will cause a split unless you can come to a more satisfactory compromise than you are currently at.

Answer 8

Hi,

   To be honest you can't force him to do something he really does not want to do.

He obviously has issues about it and isn't into the home d********x thing.

You either learn to reach a compromise of some maybe light bondage where he ties you up and spanks you ect.

If not and you not willing to go without it then maybe you need to look at relationship but maybe with talking and compromises you can work this out.  

Answer 9

There's not a stigma you just have to find the right person.